Work from Home! Assemble Products! Say "Hi" to your Dog!

When you work at home half the time, it can get a little
lonely. Bad habits, like not showering for 36 hours, can form. Also, you talk
to yourself. Here are the Greatest Hits from Things I’ve Said Aloud While
Working from Home:




“Hi Daisy!”




“Why is my middle toe hot?”




 “Daisy, did the
mailman come?”




“That doesn’t sound right.”




“Stop barking. There’s nothing to bark at.”




“Hi Daisy! Cuteface! You’re so cute.”




“Who is that?”




“What should I eat for lunch today, Daisy?”




“You’re not supposed to sit there, but I’ll let you, because
I know how much you like it.”




“Aw, bellyrubs!”




“Don’t let me eat any more Doritos.”






“Hi peanut! Cutepea!”




“What in the heck is this?”




“Hi Messhead! Fuzzface Cutie!”




“Quiet! Why are you barking? There’s nothing to bark at.”




“Why is there—oh gross, this is a toenail!”




"Who's a good girl? You're the good girl! Yes, you are!"




“Hi Daisy! You’re so cute.”




Recently, someone on Twitter said, “I say hi to my dog like,
600 times a day,” and I laughed so hard, because here is a person who clearly
also works at home, writing or spamming or filling in spreadsheets or whatever.
Because this is how it works: Anytime you leave the computer, you say hi to
your dog, stop to pet her, check the mail, grab a snack, say hi to the dog
again, get back on the computer, and yell at her to stop barking at the wind. 




Basically, we can conclude two things: 1) working at home is
not conducive to personal hygiene. Therefore, we should pity Mr. Riley. 2)
People who work from home (i.e. shut-ins) need a pet or two to talk to, just to keep their social skills sharp.
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