Attack of the Deadline Zombies

It’s 8 a.m. and I am wandering into Walmart, wearing plaid pajama pants a fleece pullover, no make-up and my hair piled into a shih tzu puff ball on top of my head.  I search the aisles for coffee and Excedrin.  It’s my theory that if I mix the two, the result will be some sort of extra-caffeinated super-espresso.  My zombie-like shuffle seems to unnerve the other shoppers, who do everything short of plastering themselves against the shelves like one of those Garfield dolls to avoid contact.  I grunt and grumble to myself as I toss Lunchables, frozen lasagnas, and “cooking substitutes” into the cart.

I run into a parent from my son’s preschool in the candy aisle, where I’m stocking up on chocolate covered coffee beans.  She takes one look at my outfit and my cart and says, “Coming up on a deadline, huh?”

I nod and shamble away.

I write every morning, rain or shine, holiday or vacation.  But for some reason, in the month or so before a deadline, when I have all but the last few chapters polished up, my brain chemistry seems to change and I am only creative between 2 and 4 a.m.   Despite the fact that I have the whole house to myself during the day, I can only work when the rest of my family is sleeping down the hall.   So I become the less cheerful, less functional, “Nocturnal” version of Molly – Cranky Vampire Molly.

My family is very understanding about this periodic personality transplant.  Most of their accommodations involve digging their own footwear from Unmatched Sock Mountain in the mornings and accepting that sometimes, Mommy is going to have to drive you to school looking like the four-year-old picked her outfit.

Eventually, I snap out of nocturnal mode, the turn the book to my editor on time, and start sleeping like a normal person.  I’m not sure if this is my brain’s way of making me suffer for my “art” or a nostalgic appreciation for the days when I was still working full-time and had no choice about late nights.  Either I stayed up all night writing, or I would have to write the books on my work computer, which my boss would not appreciate.  I’m hoping that after a few more years of writing full-time, I will become less Vampire Molly and more presentable during daylight hours.

So, other writers, what pre-deadline rituals do you suffer through?  Or are you all the “turns the book in months before the deadline” types?

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