Possum ergo facit - I can therefore I do
Today, as I watched my son walk a few steps unsupported down the hallway of the home in which he lives independently, preparing to walk his bride to be down the aisle in a few months’ time, I was struck by an inspiration... not difficult when you are watching a miracle walking.
I asked him to write an article for the blog. He agreed. I merely cut and paste.
Some who follow this blog will already know that on July 4th 2009 my son was left for dead in an alley, a screwdriver rammed through his skull and deep into his brain. He was not expected to survive, and when, remarkably, he did not die, the prognosis held no hope given the extent of the brain damage.
His decision making capacity, intellect, behaviour, language centres and memory were the areas that took the direct damage. Secondary damage hit him physically as well. He woke paralysed down his right side top to toe, unable at that point to speak, move or swallow. His co-ordination and balance were non-existent and he could not even sit up straight propped on pillows. Hi face had dropped, his eyes were crossed, his sight was impaired and we were told at one point that hopes of any kind of recovery were unrealistic.
Let me introduce you to my son, Nick Verron………………
Hello.
I've never written anything like these so apologies if I gabble. My Mum seems to think that people might want to hear what I have to say so here goes…
Where to start? My goal is to help even just one person with these ramblings. I guess the first thing I'd say is even when facing a real life nightmare is to do so with a smile. Experience has shown me that when you think things can't get any worse, the next day those problems could seem trivial. I've teetered on the edge of a pit of despair many a time. A smile has kept me from falling. When life does knock you down (normally for me due to my arch nemesis gravity) climb back up. It is very easy at this point to focus on what you've lost.
To give you insight into what I'm about to say (probably not very well) I recommend reading “The Flipside” by Adam J Jackson, a truly motivational book I was urged to read by a good friend who was on the next ward from me following a car crash. She is now walking, working and looking at moving in with her boyfriend to their own place after a very shaky prognosis. My point being that she knows what she's talking about. Anyway, I digress. You WERE warned about the rambling!
It is very easy to focus on what you've lost. I could say that I lost a highly paid job which I excelled in, a nice flat, nice car and was able bodied. Instead, I focus on what I've gained. This ordeal has completely realigned my priorities in life. Before I took everything for granted, so what I had I didn't appreciate. They say "you don't know what you've got until it's gone". How true that is. I kick myself for wasting the things that I had. So I urge you, go out for a walk and breathe in the air outside, appreciate the fact that you can. My ramblings will still be here when you get back, but tomorrow you may not physically be able to. Like my tattoo says, “possum ergo facit", Latin for "I can therefore I do". Please heed these words, I learned them the hard way.
This brings me onto my next piece of advice. Don't live in the past. You learn from your mistakes. I believe life to be comprised of lots of lessons, each one when learned enabling you to pass a slightly harder one. I think that everything in my life had been enabling me to tackle the current lesson which started 4th July 2009. I'm hoping I'm near graduation… Hindsight's shown me that these lessons at the time I would've done ANYTHING to escape, but realised later they're responsible for who I am today.
I found another recent shift in my priorities for recently I found love. If you'd have asked me a year ago my number one priority I'd have said learning to walk. Now that had been knocked off its pedestal by my Faith. Brave Faith has come to another country to study, battling bipolar on a daily basis. I guess that's something we have in common - we were both told we were attempting something impossible but did it anyway. Not many people would understand this, but I'm actually thankful for everything that's happened since the attack. Amongst other things, it's allowed me to meet Faith. More importantly it's allowed me, by having to overcome private daily trials, to better understand problems she faces and how brilliant and strong she is to have got this far.
I must say that to appreciate how good some things in my life are, I've had to experience things at the opposite end of the scale to contrast them to. As Faith said (probably more eloquently) “you only see stars in the sky when it's dark enough".
One thing that put my mind at rest I will share. I was so scared every day waking up thinking "is this as far as it is possible for me to recover?” Well I read that the brain doesn't stop learning unless you stop teaching it! I read that an old man lost 98% of his brain function in a stroke but went back to teaching! People can regain mobility 20 years after being paralysed! I found this out from a book on neuroplasticity called “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Norman Doidge. This was recommended to me by a guy called Andrew Parr, a professional hypnotherapist who decided to help me merely out of the goodness of his heart. Anyone with / who knows / is interested in neurological problems should definitely read this. It completely changed the way I think about brains.
Why was it instilled in me that there was no hope of further recovery? I was discharged from physiotherapy in 2010 because "there was nothing more they could do for me". Since that point I have made solid progress. Because I believed in myself. Oh, and countless hours of hard work. I do not think that I'm the only one with the determination needed to get this far. I do however think that if it were not for a fiery little Yorkshire hobbit, the medical profession would've sapped it from me (and worryingly probably have from many before me!) as for whatever reason they quash hope? What worries me more is people who have yet to be robbed of their determination! After all, isn't hope one of Man's strongest qualities? Contrary to what they'd have you believe, no matter how dire things may look, you can live, not just exist.
I asked him to write an article for the blog. He agreed. I merely cut and paste.
Some who follow this blog will already know that on July 4th 2009 my son was left for dead in an alley, a screwdriver rammed through his skull and deep into his brain. He was not expected to survive, and when, remarkably, he did not die, the prognosis held no hope given the extent of the brain damage.
His decision making capacity, intellect, behaviour, language centres and memory were the areas that took the direct damage. Secondary damage hit him physically as well. He woke paralysed down his right side top to toe, unable at that point to speak, move or swallow. His co-ordination and balance were non-existent and he could not even sit up straight propped on pillows. Hi face had dropped, his eyes were crossed, his sight was impaired and we were told at one point that hopes of any kind of recovery were unrealistic.
Let me introduce you to my son, Nick Verron………………
Hello.
I've never written anything like these so apologies if I gabble. My Mum seems to think that people might want to hear what I have to say so here goes…
Where to start? My goal is to help even just one person with these ramblings. I guess the first thing I'd say is even when facing a real life nightmare is to do so with a smile. Experience has shown me that when you think things can't get any worse, the next day those problems could seem trivial. I've teetered on the edge of a pit of despair many a time. A smile has kept me from falling. When life does knock you down (normally for me due to my arch nemesis gravity) climb back up. It is very easy at this point to focus on what you've lost.
To give you insight into what I'm about to say (probably not very well) I recommend reading “The Flipside” by Adam J Jackson, a truly motivational book I was urged to read by a good friend who was on the next ward from me following a car crash. She is now walking, working and looking at moving in with her boyfriend to their own place after a very shaky prognosis. My point being that she knows what she's talking about. Anyway, I digress. You WERE warned about the rambling!
It is very easy to focus on what you've lost. I could say that I lost a highly paid job which I excelled in, a nice flat, nice car and was able bodied. Instead, I focus on what I've gained. This ordeal has completely realigned my priorities in life. Before I took everything for granted, so what I had I didn't appreciate. They say "you don't know what you've got until it's gone". How true that is. I kick myself for wasting the things that I had. So I urge you, go out for a walk and breathe in the air outside, appreciate the fact that you can. My ramblings will still be here when you get back, but tomorrow you may not physically be able to. Like my tattoo says, “possum ergo facit", Latin for "I can therefore I do". Please heed these words, I learned them the hard way.
This brings me onto my next piece of advice. Don't live in the past. You learn from your mistakes. I believe life to be comprised of lots of lessons, each one when learned enabling you to pass a slightly harder one. I think that everything in my life had been enabling me to tackle the current lesson which started 4th July 2009. I'm hoping I'm near graduation… Hindsight's shown me that these lessons at the time I would've done ANYTHING to escape, but realised later they're responsible for who I am today.
I found another recent shift in my priorities for recently I found love. If you'd have asked me a year ago my number one priority I'd have said learning to walk. Now that had been knocked off its pedestal by my Faith. Brave Faith has come to another country to study, battling bipolar on a daily basis. I guess that's something we have in common - we were both told we were attempting something impossible but did it anyway. Not many people would understand this, but I'm actually thankful for everything that's happened since the attack. Amongst other things, it's allowed me to meet Faith. More importantly it's allowed me, by having to overcome private daily trials, to better understand problems she faces and how brilliant and strong she is to have got this far.
I must say that to appreciate how good some things in my life are, I've had to experience things at the opposite end of the scale to contrast them to. As Faith said (probably more eloquently) “you only see stars in the sky when it's dark enough".
One thing that put my mind at rest I will share. I was so scared every day waking up thinking "is this as far as it is possible for me to recover?” Well I read that the brain doesn't stop learning unless you stop teaching it! I read that an old man lost 98% of his brain function in a stroke but went back to teaching! People can regain mobility 20 years after being paralysed! I found this out from a book on neuroplasticity called “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Norman Doidge. This was recommended to me by a guy called Andrew Parr, a professional hypnotherapist who decided to help me merely out of the goodness of his heart. Anyone with / who knows / is interested in neurological problems should definitely read this. It completely changed the way I think about brains.
Why was it instilled in me that there was no hope of further recovery? I was discharged from physiotherapy in 2010 because "there was nothing more they could do for me". Since that point I have made solid progress. Because I believed in myself. Oh, and countless hours of hard work. I do not think that I'm the only one with the determination needed to get this far. I do however think that if it were not for a fiery little Yorkshire hobbit, the medical profession would've sapped it from me (and worryingly probably have from many before me!) as for whatever reason they quash hope? What worries me more is people who have yet to be robbed of their determination! After all, isn't hope one of Man's strongest qualities? Contrary to what they'd have you believe, no matter how dire things may look, you can live, not just exist.
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