And our planet keeps on spinning!

Hello Post Apocalyptic Survivors! 

Me, myself and I are alive and well, and just opening the 3 feet-reinforced-ballistic grade steel door that covered the side of my personal hole in the ground. I have disconnected all invader countermeasures and placed back on the cryogenics fridge all the seeds I was going to use to reforest the Earth.

It seems that the Maya were wrong, right?  There was no mantle shift, ozone depletion, pole inversion, comet, asteroid, virus, tsunamis, eruptions or 350 miles per hour tornadoes. The Earth didn’t freeze over nor the moon crashed down on our heads, no sun-flare boiled down our oceans nor cosmic rays burned our genes. 

 

And, of course, there isn’t a gnarly horde of zombies in sight…they are there, somewhere. (Actually I know a couple of places where they gather and party), but they haven’t taken over the population. 

But BEWARE! The END is NEAR! I hear that the ancient Pakuku tribe, seafarers extra-ordinaire of the south seas, (the ones that hunted the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a almost to extinction) have an ancient prophesy that tells that a huge fungus like growth in the form of Garfield’s head will come out from the sea and will make a human lasagna and proceed to eat its fill on April 1st in the year 2030.

(I’m not really scared because it’s a Monday…but, what are the odds?)

REPENT AND PREPARE HUMANITY! WE JUST GOT A REPRIEVE! BUT THE NEXT ONE IS DEFINITELY WITH ALMOST ALL CERTAINTY, INDUBITABLY AS CLOSE AS WE CAN TELL, SURELY, WITH A 99 PERCENT CHANCE!!!  ——-The one.

Me?  I’ll take Myself and I for a burger and wait for it watching anime…

 

Cheers,

-M