Absolutions n' Solutions

Hello….M. again…

I was getting ready to call it a day and go for some ablutions of the high spirits persuasion, when my boss showed me a report (I hope the snitch sees this) that SOME TRAITOROUS VIPEROUS SOON TO BE TORTURED SNITCH AROUND HERE! is giving him. Yes, the report is about some blog and a guy,  and I kinda need to do a blog before leaving.

Not that I didn’t want to… It’s just that I closed down the station and I didn’t bring the summary I have to cover today….or yesterday, or the day before.

So. Uh…. Ablutions. 

The ablution I’m talking about is actually a solution of different dilutions mixed and prepared carefully by an expert ablutioneer…(yes, I made that word up) and served over ice, or strained into a high glass. Never stirred.

BUT, then again, I am of legal high spirits ablution consumption age. For all of those of NON legal ablution age, the only solutions you should be thinking about is the ones on your quizzes and test for school.

I KNOW THIS IS A PG BLOG!!! (My boss is just….sorry.) I DIDN’T SAY ALCOHOL ANYWHERE OKAY!

GUARDIANS RELATED BLOG I KNOW…..

Anyway…

Uhm…something Guardians related…. Monsters.

Monsters! Scary and sometimes hairy, they can come in any size and color. 

You can actually call anything a monster, even if its is a good creature, I mean Nessie, The Loch Ness Monster is really like a big kitty cat once it has smell you and decided that you are not edible, or rather edible, but not very savory…kinda like anchovies.

We have a place for all kinds of monsters in our home base, we call it the Cryptozoo and we have from abominable snowmen, (which are not abominable but fluffy-cuddly) to Jackalopes, which are monstrous by definition and by definition I mean DICTIONARY definition which I am not putting here. 

Don’t believe me Google: dictionary, see it, then believe me.

So we have: 

Jackalopes: jackrabbits with antelope antlers. 

Dolphans: Dolphins with the trunk of an elephant.

Elephins. Elephants with the fins of a dolphin.

Mulggers which are mules with the legs and stripes of a tiger….Nahhhh? Yeahhhh. imagine an orange zebra with claws.

Here’s one you can probably guess: Rhinottotamus.

We have all of those and even more monsters! 

Why? you may ask. What kind of crazy geneticists work in that company?

Well, we didn’t create any of them. We just catch them and put them in the Cryptozoo, the whole mix and match thing has to do with Magic.  

Its all Magic and Mother Nature, I swear.   

Magic is fickle and mother nature, (who is a little more orderly, but also created the Platypus. Pfft.) at some junctions we call in the company Flux lines and Flux Wells come together and Poof! create this assortment of Monsters which when seen by someone not-in-our-little-club cause quite a stir. So we go in and get the beastie and put it in a suitable habitat for it. 

I Would like to tell you more about HOW the Cryptozoo works but I’ll leave it for another blog because when I wrote “how” I hit 500 words, which are actually the minimum required by this penance I call a blog.

You see, it’s Friday, I am tired, and my TASKMASTER  only gives me ONE DAY OFF A WEEK!

So I’m off to my ablutions and I leave you with a…

Cheers!

579… Dang I’m good.