“So much I want to tell you,” emotionally charged snippet from “ACCENDO” 3rd Novel in “The Light-Bearer Series” by Emily Guido

“Charmeine Remembers” snippet of “ACC... “Time alone” snippet from “ACCENDO” t...

“So much I want to tell you,” emotionally charged snippet from “ACCENDO” 3rd Novel in “The Light-Bearer Series” by Emily Guido

Charmeine’s heart rate shot up through the roof, Tabbruis noticed it automatically. She asked, “Me? I’m irresponsible and foolish?”
With Tabbruis’ eyes rutted and a scowl on his face, he answered gruffly, “Yes; you Charmeine!”
Charmeine shaking with anger said, “Tabbruis, understand this, we are going into battle and it’s wrong! I know it’s wrong to my core. However, you and your frat club won’t believe me!”
Tabbruis quickly retaliated and blurted out, “OR… You just do not like it when people who have more experience and expertise tell you what to do!”

Now baring his anger with cynicism in his voice, he asked, “How many wars have you been in Charmeine? How many battles have you walked out of? How many times have you seen your comrades die in front of you? How many times have you planned attack strategies? How many times, Charmeine? How many times?”
With understanding, Charmeine said softly, “Tabbruis, you have several points there. I have no experience.” Then fear in her voice she cried out, “But Tabbruis! Oh my God Tabbruis, I’m so afraid! Please believe me; I know it is wrong to attack on the 31st! Our family will suffer and/or die!
She took a breath trying to control her tears and said, “I may have no experience… But I trust the gift God gave me. Do you?”
Tabbruis looked at Charmeine strangely and asked, “Do I? What?”
She asked again, “Do you trust the gifts which God gave you?”
Taking a big breath he replied, “I try.”
Charmeine looked him straight in the eyes and said quietly, “Tabbruis, I am a gift of God for you.”
With that, Tabbruis’ anger was starting to recede and thought, ‘Of course, Charmeine, you are my gift from God.’ Tabbruis looked down and unclenched his hands and said with a big breath, “God help me, yes… Yes; I know are a gift from God for me Charmeine. I am lost without you. I need you more than you will ever know. My heart cannot beat. My head cannot think. I cannot live without you.”
Charmeine turned her body towards him touching his face ever so softly looking at his eyes and asked, “Then Tabbruis, how can you take my worst fear, my worst insecurity about myself and bring it to bare?”
She came closer to him and put her other hand on his other cheek not breaking the stare and said gently, “You are supposed to trust me.” Charmeine was trying to maintain composure; her eyes welling with tears looked at him and said, “I admit to you, Tabbruis, no matter how hurt I am with you… I will always love you… and my family. I love you all. I will gladly sacrifice myself for you or our family. Please Tabbruis, promise me something?”
Tabbruis replied, “Charmeine, I would do anything for you. You know that.”
With big tears falling out of her eyes, she pleaded, “Tabbruis… whatever happens during the battle, you must live and go on for our family!”
Charmeine released her gentle hold on Tabbruis’ face.
He yearned to feel her hands on him again.
She said evenly, “That being said now; I will fight with the squad on the Full Moon. However, I know in every fiber of my being the battle will end badly.”

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Tabbruis took a breath and said calmly, “Maybe when the battle is over, and you can see we were right. We will work through these problems.” Tabbruis sighed and reached for Charmeine. She backed off and put her hand up which lit with a white light as a warning he was supposed to keep his distance from her.
She said, “After the Elder Council has come to justice; which I believe will not be on the night of the full moon, I will leave you Tabbruis. I want to be as far away from you as possible to forget my heartbreak.”
Defiantly Tabbruis said, “I will not permit it Charmeine. I will find you because you are my wife now.”
Too tired to expend more energy in the conversation, Charmeine said softly, “Tabbruis, I just want to go back to my life. I love teaching. If we stayed together, it would only bring back the hurt every day you failed me.”
When Charmeine said, ‘failed’ Tabbruis was shocked. He asked incredulously, “Failed you? Charmeine, you really believe that I failed you?”
Charmeine looked toward the window again and replied emphatically, “Immensely Tabbruis.”
Charmeine’s heart was slowing down into a clenched rhythm and the last two days of no sleep or eating took over her body. She closed her eyes and pressed her head on the cool glass and fell deeply asleep.
Once Tabbruis knew she was sleeping, he slid over and put her head on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around her.

Tabbruis has to convince Charmeine to stay!

Tabbruis whispered, “How can I just let you walk away from me, our family and our life? Charmeine, you are the only woman in Heaven or on Earth for me. Until the Elder Council falls, all I can do is wait and hope for you to come to that same conclusion.”
He closed his eyes in a whispered prayer, “God, help Charmeine find her way back to me.”
Tabbruis gazed down at Charmeine, his heart ached inside when he saw her looking so sick. She appeared as white as a sheet. All the color had gone from her lips and skin.
Tabbruis whispered, “There is so much I need to tell you, so much I want to tell you. God Charmeine, I love you so much…,” and he pressed his lips gently on her head. He relished every second Charmeine spent in his arms. He secretly wished there was a car broken down on the Long Island Parkway, so he could hold her longer through the traffic. Tabbruis knew when Charmeine woke up he would not be able to hold her any longer.

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Today, change your thoughts and light your world… ACCENDO!

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