Spine

Maybe this happens to you. You spend a little time looking in the mirror, and for once you've dug the spinach out of your teeth and plowed the cowlick into submission and you've found the shirt without the pizza sauce stains, and you say to yourself, "Hey, you know, all things considered, I don't look half bad."

And then you turn sideways. Oh, hello, gut. And is that really my nose? Tragically, the world sees us from this angle as well. You'd think we'd look at our profiles more often.

I am s...