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Oh my god, the eye-changing thing. I definitely agree with you there. Eyeballs are NOT mood rings. I think I found this test back when I still stalked fanfiction.net semi-actively. Someone was complaining about Sues and happened to mention this test.
Rants are awesome! I love rants. La la la la la.

I mean, really..."Does your character die in his/her beloved's arms?"
Um. No. She actually gets pushed down a sewer hole by an invisible man who later takes the form of a po..."
Actually, that was "My Stalker's Name is Bubba." Another one I haven't worked on in forever.
I'm tickled that you remember it, though. You make me giggle.

I mean, really..."Does your character die in his/her beloved's arms?"
Um. No. She actually gets pushed down a sewer hole by an invisible man who later takes th..."
Dude. I read both those stories. I love your madcap sense of humor!!!! :D
It's like... it's like Bridget Jones on LSD.

I mean, really..."Does your character die in his/her beloved's arms?"
Um. No. She actually gets pushed down a sewer hole by an invisible man who ..."
I probably ought to wonder if that was a compliment, you comparing me to a druggie, but we both know it totally was. Thanks. NOW GO WRITE MY SEQUEL!!!
I mean, really..."Does your character die in his/her beloved's arms?"
Um. No. She actually gets pushed down a sewer hole by an invisible man who later takes the form of a potted plant. I'm pretty sure that doesn't qualify as Mary Sue, or at least I really hope it doesn't, because then no character is safe.
This is the first time I've ever come across this list, and though it made me remember why I don't read anything with Mary Sue's, it's hilarious.
Though come to think of it, this list should include a point for anyone with eyes that change color, either for extreme emotion or when they lie or just when the light changes. Gah. Whoever started that one should be shot.
I feel a rant coming on. I'd better go stick my head in the freezer for a bit.