Muse, Full Time: Applications Now Being Accepted

No, not this Muse. Though, hey, they might work out. Catchy tunes. Apparently worked for Stephenie Meyer. But I don’t want sparkly vampires creeping into my manuscripts so…

All great artists have a muse, so they say. I’m not sure I’ve ever officially had one, but I could certainly use the inspiration now.

The first applicant? This one. She (allegedly) left Julia London’s employ (or was fired, it’s still unclear) and came to me claiming responsibility for all of Julia’s books up to The Revenge of Lord Eberlin, but she couldn’t name a single character. She didn’t even know about Lucy. Suspicious!

I sent her on her way. I hear she self-published her first book on Amazon last week: I Am Wondermuse and So Can You. It’s number one in Free Nonfiction. Maybe I should have snapped her up after all.

Next?

I tried Lady Grantham in the role, but she just would not stop with the zingers. Like, “Zebra prints belong on a conservatory ottoman and not on a lady’s bottom.” (Hey, they’re my writing pants!) and “No one wants to kiss a girl in zebra pants.” And “if your husband intended you to have an opinion, he would write it for you in his own blog.”  Ugh.

Olivia Newton-John showed up in costume from Xanadu. Still fits! She roller-skated around my living room and sang a few bars, but I recommended she look up John Travolta and record a Christmas album. Hahaha, it was a joke. Well, she did! I guess I played muse for her instead. Huh. 

Then Big Bird came around. He’s not unemployed yet, but he saw last night’s debate and fears what the future might hold. I told him, quite honestly, that Snuffleupagus comes more highly recommended, but I would keep them both on the list for future consideration. For now, Sesame Street still needs them, so back to the nest.

Good help is hard to find. How about you? Have you ever sought divine intervention? Angel on your shoulder? Muse? Who is your inspiration? 

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