The Story of Josh Part Forty Four: “It’s for Tornado’s and maybe Nuclear Bombs”
When we entered Joe’s parent’s house I wanted to run away. I knew where I was and I knew who I was going to meet and ice filled my gut. I didn’t want to meet him and the only thing I wanted to do was meet him. Since I had been a young boy he had been my hero and if it turned out that he was a complete asshole I would be disillusioned.
We sit and wait and when his parents come into the room Joe introduces me. I think that they can tell that I am nervous and they do their best to put me at my ease. After a delicious dinner we sit out on the back porch and I blend into the shadows as I listen to them reminisce. I tell them that my grandparents had a very large enclosed and screened in patio like this one on their house when I was a kid.
I also mention that they had a bomb shelter in their back yard.
This seems to catch their attention and Joe’s father asks me what that was like. I remember playing in and on it when I was a kid and I smile before I begin to talk.
As always this is a therapy session of sorts and the doctor is in. Gods I hope I do not fuck this one up.
When my mom was a teenager a tornado tore through her neighborhood and heavily damaged her house. I am not sure if they were visiting family in North Carolina or not when the twister tore through the area but I believe that they were. Following the storm the destroyed the rural neighborhood the rebuilding began and my grandfather took full advantage of the opportunity to do some selective construction.
Behind the house my grandparents had a large hole excavated, then a structure was built within the hole, and finally everything was recovered with earth and a bulk head was installed. Discounting the ventilation pipe that stuck out the top of the hill after the turf had taken root and the grass on the new man made hill was as lush and green as the rest of the land it all looked natural.
Except it was the ONLY HILL in the area.
I mean the thing was clearly there as a shelter from storms. Or considering this was the 1960’s it was possibly a fallout shelter that my grandfather had installed. Most likely so that he could delay the cancers and mutations that would inevitably result after the radioactive ashes that used to be the Motor City covered the area. And damn that is the one cool thing about my biological maternal grandfather, he is ready for everything. At his current home, at least the last time I was there years ago, the top of his barn has a secret arsenal of weapons hidden away. He claims that they are to be sold at gun shows, and in his defense when I was a kid he did a lot of gun shows, but I will believe till my dying day that he is prepared for the end of the world.
Bring it on you fucking Mayans!!!
When I was a kid the shelter was already decades old and it had been converted into a root cellar for my grandmothers canned vegetables. But when I would go down into the hill and pretend that I was delving into the depths of the earth in search of Morlocks, Chuds, and Mole people I could see where it had originally be constructed to hold people first and goods second.
I have not been a fan of my grandfather for a long time. I have related one of the many instances that caused this rift earlier in this series of essays but needless to say there is very little about him that I want to believe has rubbed off on me. But I have to say that I did get one attribute from my grandfather, I am a closet survivalist. Not the crazy I have a million guns and a bomb proof bunker in my basement where the zombies will never get me!!!
Give me some credit.
I keep food and emergency equipment on hand all the time. And I was proved vindicated in 2008 when the remnants of hurricane Ike slammed the Miami Valley and crashed the power grid. My home was without power for more than a week and even though I had to go to the store to get some supplies we were much better off than a lot of the people in the area.
Although damnit I would sell a hobo to science for a generator.
Joe and his family are entertained by my story and I can tell that I made a decent impression. They ask me if I want to stay the night because they wouldn’t feel right turning me out in the night.
It’s all a little surreal.
I think that is all the time we have today, but I want to suggest that you all watch “Doomsday Preppers” on Nat Geo.
We sit and wait and when his parents come into the room Joe introduces me. I think that they can tell that I am nervous and they do their best to put me at my ease. After a delicious dinner we sit out on the back porch and I blend into the shadows as I listen to them reminisce. I tell them that my grandparents had a very large enclosed and screened in patio like this one on their house when I was a kid.
I also mention that they had a bomb shelter in their back yard.
This seems to catch their attention and Joe’s father asks me what that was like. I remember playing in and on it when I was a kid and I smile before I begin to talk.
As always this is a therapy session of sorts and the doctor is in. Gods I hope I do not fuck this one up.
When my mom was a teenager a tornado tore through her neighborhood and heavily damaged her house. I am not sure if they were visiting family in North Carolina or not when the twister tore through the area but I believe that they were. Following the storm the destroyed the rural neighborhood the rebuilding began and my grandfather took full advantage of the opportunity to do some selective construction.
Behind the house my grandparents had a large hole excavated, then a structure was built within the hole, and finally everything was recovered with earth and a bulk head was installed. Discounting the ventilation pipe that stuck out the top of the hill after the turf had taken root and the grass on the new man made hill was as lush and green as the rest of the land it all looked natural.
Except it was the ONLY HILL in the area.
I mean the thing was clearly there as a shelter from storms. Or considering this was the 1960’s it was possibly a fallout shelter that my grandfather had installed. Most likely so that he could delay the cancers and mutations that would inevitably result after the radioactive ashes that used to be the Motor City covered the area. And damn that is the one cool thing about my biological maternal grandfather, he is ready for everything. At his current home, at least the last time I was there years ago, the top of his barn has a secret arsenal of weapons hidden away. He claims that they are to be sold at gun shows, and in his defense when I was a kid he did a lot of gun shows, but I will believe till my dying day that he is prepared for the end of the world.
Bring it on you fucking Mayans!!!
When I was a kid the shelter was already decades old and it had been converted into a root cellar for my grandmothers canned vegetables. But when I would go down into the hill and pretend that I was delving into the depths of the earth in search of Morlocks, Chuds, and Mole people I could see where it had originally be constructed to hold people first and goods second.
I have not been a fan of my grandfather for a long time. I have related one of the many instances that caused this rift earlier in this series of essays but needless to say there is very little about him that I want to believe has rubbed off on me. But I have to say that I did get one attribute from my grandfather, I am a closet survivalist. Not the crazy I have a million guns and a bomb proof bunker in my basement where the zombies will never get me!!!
Give me some credit.
I keep food and emergency equipment on hand all the time. And I was proved vindicated in 2008 when the remnants of hurricane Ike slammed the Miami Valley and crashed the power grid. My home was without power for more than a week and even though I had to go to the store to get some supplies we were much better off than a lot of the people in the area.
Although damnit I would sell a hobo to science for a generator.
Joe and his family are entertained by my story and I can tell that I made a decent impression. They ask me if I want to stay the night because they wouldn’t feel right turning me out in the night.
It’s all a little surreal.
I think that is all the time we have today, but I want to suggest that you all watch “Doomsday Preppers” on Nat Geo.
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