Liveblog: chapter three

Are we all sitting comfortably? I would think that from now on, this book is best tackled with a large drink. Or a lighted match. Still, we’ll press on.

Blah, blah, blah, Lady Barton proposes to the Marquis and he says no, as we’ve already been informed, with exactly the ridiculous words and exclamation marks she told us. This is the most convoluted way of telling a story. Cartland would have done well to start at the beginning and keep going to the end. We’re also informed that people with new money should stay where they belong, which seems to be mostly Liverpool.

The Marquis returns from the hunting (which is where Lady Barton fell off her horse) to Ridgeley Towers where everyone hates him without him knowing it. Meanwhile, Valessa is asleep upstairs with £200 and a glass of milk. A maid comes to help her dress and put on make up. Valessa knows that Ladies of London (which is presumably a very discreet brothel frequented only by Gentlemen) use cosmetics. Tonight she’s supposed to enjoy herself (seems unlikely) and tomorrow she’ll be part of a charade.

At dinner she has to talk to some uninteresting man about horses. Then she sees the Marquis, who apparently looks as though he should have been a king. His name is Stafford. I’d forgotten that. Valessa calls him the Man in the Moon because she is that sort of woman. I bet she sleeps with teddy bears and likes Hello Kitty.

Everybody goes to bed early and alone. That was unexpected.