Alibis for Sale

Dear Dan,

Have you seen this website, and what do you think about it?

Thanks,

Joe

 

Ever since The Honest Truth about Dishonesty was published, people send me emails about strange things they come across related to dishonesty, like this one offering “alibis and excuses for absences as well as assistance with a variety of sensitive issues.” My response:

 

Dear Joe,

I’m sure you noticed that while the web site claims these “issues” could take many forms, a quick pass through the services offered suggests that those looking to “have a discreet affair” are the main clientele.

On the whole, the web site is constructed to look like any basic service provider, if you didn’t read the copy, you’d probably think it was for a legal or financial company (albeit one that declines to spend money on a decent web designer). There are pictures of smiling, happy people with headsets, waiting to fill your order. The site has tabs that will direct the interested customer to a list of services (everything from producing and sending fake airline tickets, impersonating hotel reception, and providing detailed seminar materials), a fee catalogue, and a list of affiliates. You probably also noticed the testimonials, which, interestingly, lack any specificity and are quite difficult to understand. Perhaps this is because discretion is the name of the game (it appears that people are unwilling, even in the testimonials they provide for their alibi agency, to say “thanks for making my affair possible!”). And finally, the slogan: “Empowering Real People in a Real World!” It’s downright uplifting! Until you realize that by empowering people they mean lying on their behalf.

I suspect that all these trappings, which make the site look normal and above board, go a long way in helping people patronize this agency. People can book an alibi the same way they would a plane ticket. And they see that lots of other people use the service, thanks to the testimonials, so why not them? I think the “real world” rhetoric also helps lull people’s possible objections; the idea is that this is how things work, in the real world, not a fairytale land of 100% honesty.

For my part, I’m left feeling a little depressed and worried about what new kinds of advertisements might pop up in my browser after looking at this page…

web site claims these “issues” could take many forms, a quick pass through the services offered suggests that those looking to “have a discreet affair” are the main clientele. And the services—they really cover all the bases—include everything from producing and sending fake airline tickets, impersonating hotel reception, and providing detailed seminar materials (so your spouse thinks you’re off learning how new tax laws affect your clients rather than laying by a pool with a non-colleague).

On the whole, the web site is constructed to look like any basic service provider, if you didn’t read the copy, you’d probably think it was for a legal or financial company (albeit one that declines to spend money on a decent web designer). There are pictures of smiling, happy people with headsets, waiting to fill your order. The site has tabs that will direct the interested customer to a list of services, a fee catalogue, and a list of affiliates. There are also plenty of testimonials, which, interestingly, lack any specificity and are quite difficult to understand. Perhaps this is because discretion is the name of the game (it appears that people are unwilling, even in the testimonials they provide for their alibi agency, to say “thanks for making my affair possible!”). And finally, the slogan: “Empowering Real People in a Real World!” It’s downright uplifting! Until you realize that by empowering people they mean lying on their behalf.

I suspect that all these trappings, which make the site look normal and above board, go a long way in helping people patronize this agency. People can book an alibi the same way they would a plane ticket. And they see that lots of other people use the service, thanks to the testimonials, so why not them? I think the “real world” rhetoric also helps lull people’s possible objections; the idea is that this is how things work, in the real world, not a fairytale land of 100% honesty.

For my part, I’m left feeling a little depressed and worried about what new kinds of advertisements might pop up in my browser after looking at this page…