The Story of Josh Part Thirty Nine: I still like the McDonalds Breakfast

After the adventure at the amusement park the gang decided that they wanted to get a bite to eat. The Hippy kept telling the dog that he would get him some kind of “Snacks” but I couldn’t understand the word and I didn’t want to be rude and ask him to repeat himself. Twenty minutes later we pulled into an Arby’s and I groaned silently, I am not a big fan of Arby’s. So when we ordered I just got a coke and some fries.

Later as we were once again motoring down the road, apparently there is an old abandoned camp ground that Ascot Boy has a hard-on to check out, the Hippy asked when I didn’t get anything else.

I sigh, this is an old story for me and it was one of the first realities of my personality that I ever confronted. I will forgo my own comfort for what others want and yet I am a man that usually knows exactly what he wants and what I want rarely changes.

But I suppose that I need to get this out one last time.

This, as always, is a therapy session and the smelly hippy doctor is in.


I worked at McDonalds for two years while I was in High School. I believe that I have told that story already and besides my employment is not really the issue. The best part about working at McDonalds was the free meals and the best meals were the breakfasts. My favorite McDonalds breakfast is the sausage McMuffin with egg always has been always will be.

That’s just who I am.

I like pizza with onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, and green peppers. I like coca-cola but when I was diagnosed with diabetes I had to switch to the miracle that is Coke Zero. I like Star Trek better than Star Wars. I like Hockey and Baseball and I loathe Football and Basketball. I fucking hate clowns but I love midgets (and yes I know they prefer little people but uhhhh … fuck you that’s what). I think just about every woman has something about her that’s sexy but when it comes to men I am a fickle son of a bitch. I like Heinz ketchup and I am less than a fan of Hunts. Rye Bread is amazing and Pumpernickel pisses me off.

Like I said I know what I prefer and what I don’t want.

But in the past whenever the question would come up of what does everyone want (food, entertainment, sex) I would just knuckle under and just go with whatever the dominant person wanted. Fuck most of the time I would never even voice my preferences. But I would always hate myself when I was forced by my own inability to express myself to scarf down an unwanted burger, watch a movie that bored the fuck out of me, or have some of the most unsatisfying sex ever. Seriously teenage boys are supposed to be so full of testosterone and cum and that it might kill them, but there were times that would just fake it in order to get some of the awful sex over with. And let’s be clear it wasn’t awful because my partners were awful, it was awful because I never did anything I wanted to do I just … let it ride. I am sure most of my former lovers would say I was the worst lay that they ever had.

The worst part was with my friends. I love my friends like family and they always ask me what I want to do. When we were kids they asked me and as adults they always ask me. And until recently I would just go with what they wanted. They never knew that I was bending to them, how the fuck could they? They love me and if I had said hey I want to do this or hey I don’t want to do that they would have told me that was cool.

They wouldn’t have stopped loving me, but fuck that is what I always thought would have happened.

So we were at Gen Con and I got see my best friends for the first time in months. These people (Bill, Jessi, and Mikey) aren’t just friends they are family. Anyway on Friday night Billy asks me if we want to go to a restaurant with them to eat. At first I said yes, because that is what I always do and because I wanted to see my friend, my brother. But as time went on I decided hey I don’t want to make the trip and spend the money to eat somewhere that while I am sure is delicious I have no desire to eat at.

So scared so much about his response that I thought I might vomit I told Bill. His reaction was a simple that’s cool we will get together later on. And we did and for a few hours we had an awesome visit. I did not get to see my friends as much as I would have if I had just done what they wanted to do and not what I wanted to do. But the time I did spend with them was better for it.

So now I try to speak up and express what I want to do when I am with people who are not my wife. For the record Karen has always be able to get me to tell her what I want to do even if she has to threaten me to do it. We don’t always do what I want to do but we always do what WE want to do. It is hard with others and I have to make a conscious effort to do it, in the past I would have just avoided seeing people if I didn’t want to do what they wanted to do. I would rather have hidden in my bedroom and just stayed isolated than risk having to tell others what I want. Now I try to see them and work through my issues in the moment instead of sweating it and pussying out.

I am happier this way, even if it’s not as comfortable as staying in the bedroom instead of going out.

But I still love the McDonalds breakfast.


The smelly hippy nods a lot as I talk and acts as if he is listening but I think that he might be a little too stoned to appreciate the words coming out of my mouth. But regardless it’s nice to get the story out … and I think that dog was actually listening again.

We seem to be all out of time today.