The Story of Josh Part Thirty Four … No Pets Allowed

I was going to do a regular “Story of Josh” installment today with the “Therapist” and everything else. It was going to be about all of my pets and how they have affected my life but when I was half way through the essay I was bawling my eyes out and trying to keep myself from wailing. Once I had stopped crying and blew the tons of snot out of my system I decided that I just can’t do it, it hurts too fucking much.

What I will say is this.

When we were forced to leave our home we were unable to find anyone who would take our pets and we had no money to send them to “No Kill” shelters. So we did the only thing we could, we released them in the country. I know some of you are no cursing me and telling me what a bastard I am for doing that. I wish I could sit you all down and justify my actions to you, and let me tell you a year later and I still CANNOT think of a different solution that doesn’t involve them being gasses. At least this way they had a shot at finding someone to take them in or making it in the wild.

I really wish I could make myself believe that at night.

But none of you can possibly hate me or think less of me more than I do myself about this. I have literally vomited thinking about it.

All I want to do now is give you a list of all of the pets I have had as a child and as an adult in alphabetical order. Thank you for putting up with this my friends, I fear this is as close as I am going to come to dealing with this pain for the time being. Maybe when I can put the pictures of my fur babies out in the house again I will take another step.


Aaron (hamster - male)
Abner “Abby” (cat - male)
Baby (cat - female)
Bobby Cat (cat - male)
Choo-Choo (dog - female)
Hermy (cat - male)
Honky (cat - male)
Jay Bird (cat - female)
Juno (cat - female)
Little Boo (cat - male)
Little Tails (cat - female)
Lizard “Lizzy” (cat – male)
Maggie May Hilden “Maggie” (dog - female)
Molly Moo Hilden “Molly” (dog - female)
Morris (cat - male)
Natasha Serenity Hilden “Tasha” (dog - female)
Oscar (cat - male)
Peek-a-Boo (cat - male)
Penny (dog - female)
Princess Buttercup “Buttercup” (cat - male)
Simon (cat - male)
Snickers (cat - male)
Snowflake (cat - female)
Spooky (cat - male)
Spunky (hamster - male)
Tabitha “Tabby” (cat - female)
Tails (cat - male)
Yoda (cat - female)
Zoe (cat - male)


I miss them all everyday.

OK, I am devastated right now seeing that list. I did not think that just writing their names would be this hard. They were my friends and now they are gone. I have nothing else to say other than I will never have another pet that is a mammal again, I just can’t handle the guilt.

Right now I do have a pet. His name is Tatsu and he is a gorgeous bearded dragon. He originally belonged to my oldest daughter but she decided to give him to me when she moved to Wisconsin.

I love him.