A Crappy Way to Start the Day

Thought I’d share with you a funny story since my last few posts were rather sad. Ahem…

A couple of years ago, I woke up and started my day like any other. I showered and dressed, fed my son and got him ready, and headed out to take him to school and do a day of shopping. I threw a couple of bags of stuff and my purse over my arm, grabbed a couple treats for my beagle, and headed out. I don’t know if you or anyone you know have ever had a beagle but they get pretty darn excited for treats. Now it’s before 8 a.m and the grass is quite wet with dew. My little dog is excited to see the treats in my hand and he starts jumping. Not wanting to do all my shopping with dirty paw prints on me, I try to give him a treat to keep him from jumping on me. I should’ve watched where I was going.

I stepped in a hole, twisted my ankle and fell, throwing dog treats and bags and purse as I went. I swear to you I thought I broke my ankle. It was killing me. So I’m lying there on the wet grass, half crying, half laughing. I look over and see that my dog cares nothing of me and my troubles. He’s eating his treats as if I’m not on the verge of death. My son has a strange look on his face as he doesn’t know whether to laugh or be concerned. He asks if I’m laughing or crying. I tell him I’m doing both because while it’s obvious that walking isn’t my thing, I’ve mastered the art of multitasking. He now feels safe in laughing.

And then I smell it.

“Oh no,” I said.

“What?” my son asks.

“I think I’m lying in dog crap.”

I roll over and sure enough, I had fallen right onto the hearty pile of fresh dog doo. It was smashed all over the back of my sweatshirt. So…now I have to take off the shirt, have my son rinse the dog poop off with the water hose, and limp inside and change clothes.

My son ended up being late for school that day by ten minutes, and I had to do a whole day’s shopping with a swollen and bruised ankle. Not to mention the scent of fresh dog dung lingering in my nose.