Setting the stage for success in 2010

At the beginning of 2009, I made a couple of very sincere resolutions: I wanted to slow down the pace of my life and lighten up about things, and I wanted to work on being less judgmental. It sounds like a short list, but for someone like me who tends to overdo the vigilance... these were actually quite difficult tasks to tackle.

It's pretty sobering to read statistics showing that only 40% of people who set resolutions actually reach their targets. It seems that if you want to get to your destination, you'd better have a really good plan for getting there! Sitting down and making resolutions is a useful ritual in itself, a way for us to assess and temporarily deal with the things in our lifestyles that we want to change. But if you want to see those changes actually manifest, it helps to be armed with some useful tips!

1. Learn from last year. Think about what happened the last time you set resolutions. How did that work out? If you didn't quite get there, think about why. Knowing what you did right or wrong last time can be key in figuring out what techniques to try next.

2. Make sure the fire is hot. The more you want something, the more likely you are to do whatever it takes to get it. If you choose a lot of resolutions that you're not really committed to, it will most likely show in your effort level. If you really want something, then you'll feel that fire when you think about succeeding.

3. Visible reminders are important. Make a list, and post it somewhere. Tape notes in strategic places. Anything you can do to remind yourself what you're aiming for will help. You can even set alarms on your phone!

4. Tell the world! No one is an island, and this is a great opportunity to share your goals with your closest friends. Having a support network is important if you want to succeed, so now's a great time to get together with people and make your intentions known. Your friends can also double as cheerleaders!

5. Set up checkpoints. Designate some dates, maybe every three months, or even every month, to check in with yourself and see how things are going. Assess, adjust if necessary, and give yourself a pat on the back.

6. Get back on track. If your checkpoint assessment got you feeling down, remind yourself that none of us is perfect, and perfection was never your goal! This is an exercise in directing yourself toward better habits, and the process is rarely linear. Don't be angry with yourself - negative self-talk leads to low mood, which leads to self-loathing... don't even start down that road.

7. Set up a reward system. Having something to aim for will really help keep you energized about your goals. Sure, reaching the goal is a reward in itself, but enjoying all the benefits is even sweeter. Wouldn't it be great to plan a hiking trip with the family to celebrate your new higher level of fitness?

If you've been wondering about how I did with my own resolutions in 2009, well, I think it's gone really positively. I have been less judgmental, and I've been doing my best to be more laid back and not take things so seriously. At this very moment, I'm sitting in Carmel Valley with my husband and our dog, and we're enjoying a beautiful view of the ocean. So now we're going to head out for a long walk to reward ourselves for all our good work in 2009.

In the San Francisco Bay Area? Make plans to attend Maryanne's free self-defense classes which teach participants how to protect themselves emotionally AND physically. More information at http://askmaryannelive.com.