The Unattainable Quest of Hustling for Worthiness in the LDS Church

November 8, 2025 Rose

From the time LDS members are eight until they die, they are hustling for worthiness, attending interviews with priesthood leaders, obeying long lists of rules created by LDS men, and seeking to become worthy of God’s conditional love. Sadly, this is an unattainable quest.

When LDS children turn eight, they are required to attend bishop’s interviews. These one-on-one interviews are held bi-annually for young people and annually for single adults. In addition, families are expected to attend annual tithing declaration interviews, and biennial interviews for temple recommends. Interviews with church leaders are also required for church callings, priesthood advancements, missionary service, ecclesiastical endorsements, and ministering.

Although a parent or other adult may be present when a youth is interviewed, the youth must ask for this privilege. This leaves predatory bishops, whom members are told are called by God, to groom, abuse, and molest young victims, which is happening far too frequently.

The goal of most of these interviews is to determine a member’s worthiness.

Former Pres. Russell M. Nelson said: “Individual worthiness to enter the Lord’s house requires much individual spiritual preparation. But with the Lord’s help, nothing is impossible. In some respects, it is easier to build a temple than it is to build a people prepared for a temple. Individual worthiness requires a total conversion of mind and heart to be more like the Lord, to be an honest citizen, to be a better example, and to be a holier person.”

That sets an almost impossible standard of conduct: to be totally converted in mind and heart, to be more like the Lord and to be a holier, honest person. Who can truthfully say that have reached this level of righteousness and obedience?

According to Webster’s Dictionary worthiness means either “having worth or value” or “having sufficient worth or importance.” Dr. Brene Brown, professor of social work, writes, “One of the truisms of wholehearted living is You either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for your worthiness.”

In a recorded lecture, Dr. Brown says, “When we can let go of what people think, and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness – the feeling that we are enough just as we are, and that we are worthy of love and belonging.”

She states that rather than “hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving…it’s time to walk into our experiences and to start living and loving with our whole hearts.”

As I spent decades hustling for worthiness in the LDS Church, I never felt like I was doing enough. Each year the list of things a Mormon must do grows longer, and now it is anathema to even say the word “Mormon,” so I have sinned by writing his sentence.

Members are told how to eat, drink, wear, say, do, not do, consume media, spend their discretionary time, read, and even think. A friend compiled a list of 668 rules for members, and although some have been revised with the new Strength of Youth guidelines, others have been tightened, as the Church doubles down on garment-wearing requirements.

Since bishops are sustained as the “common judge in Israel” in the LDS Church, members are taught that these leaders have the gift of discernment, which implies that they can counsel members, something for which most bishops lack training and competency.

Most LDS worthiness interviews are designed to determine if a member is obedient to Church leaders (not God) and to Church standards of conduct. No interview is solely designed to determine how a Church member is doing and if they have specific needs that the Church community could address. In some cases, members feel compelled to be inauthentic in order to see their children married or to achieve benchmarks in the LDS culture. This is unacceptable!

Worthiness interviews create a system that encourages abuse. Too many have been groomed and sexually abused by bishops through the interviewing process. Others are deeply wounded by bishops who use inappropriate questions in interviews that leave people feeling broken and afraid.

I have talked to many members who believe they are never doing enough or are good enough to be worthy of God’s love because of the Church’s worthiness interviews.

A top church leader taught that God’s love is conditional and depends on how well a person keeps the commandments, which are defined by LDS authorities.

The idea that the Mormon God loves me less than my parents do is wrong and harmful.

I know serial pedophiles and lifelong fraudsters who attend the temple regularly while some who drink coffee or doing wear their garments regularly are deemed unworthy to attend. This is unacceptably unfair.

The Church should eliminate worthiness interviews, allowing bishops more time to minister to their members and determine how to best serve the sick, suffering, and infirm. Bishops spend far too much time monitoring members’ worthiness and tithe paying. That time could be better spent reaching out to the lonely, broken-hearted, and those in need.

It is time for Church leaders to teach members they are worthy because they are a child of God.

If Church members felt that God loved them unconditionally, there would probably be less scrupulosity, depression, and anxiety. A psychoanalysist wrote an excellent Exponent article about this topic that deserves consideration.

If Church leaders teach and show that their members are loved less by the LDS God than their own parents, something is wrong. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints needs to teach members that they are uncondtionally and infinitely loved by God. LDS leaders need to stop making members hustle for God’s love or for their own intrinsic worth and worthiness.

Please rememeber:

You are enough.

You are worthy.

You are beautifully and wonderfully made.

No one should have to earn their worthiness by interviews with male leaders, especially in a church that professes to follow Jesus.

 

What are your thoughts?

Do you think worthiness interviews are healthy ways to increase conformity in the LDS Church?

Do you believe that members should attain certain standards to attend the temple? 

What are your thoughts on temple recommend interviews? One-on-one sexual purity interviews? Bishop’s bi-annual interviews with children?

 

 

 

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