The Space You Make and the Space You Take

The space you make and the space you take. This phrase has been running through my head since I heard it at a faith-based professional meeting a few weeks ago (I work at a Catholic school). It’s a simple phrase yet one I have never before heard and which has impacted me deeply. How much better would the world be if we all paused from time to time to reflect on this? As I have digested this phrase, here are thoughts I have had.

The Space.

Space could refer to physical space, emotional space, spiritual space, or mental space. I eagerly look forward to my regular acupuncture appointments because my acupuncturist creates a calming physical space with soft lighting, a scent that I think is either incense or an essential oil diffuser, and comfortable furnishings. The physical setting creates a calmness that allows me to connect with my emotions and mental state to be able to communicate the status of my ongoing health treatments. Although acupuncture is primarily treating physical health issues, it invariably includes a spiritual component as I leave feeling calm and settled. 

The Space You Make.

We create space for ourselves and others. Understanding the space we make for ourselves requires self-awareness. We have to know ourselves: our needs, wants, thoughts, and emotions. Creating a space that supports our needs and allows us to make a contribution can require experience as we navigate creating space in different settings: personal, educational, professional, religious, etc. Creating a space that supports others requires imagination, empathy, flexible thinking, and a willingness to both give and receive feedback. 

The Space You Take.

We take space for ourselves, we also take space from others. Based on my life experience, I suspect that most women need to take more space. See this research done at BYU: “When Women Don’t Speak.” In a world largely designed by men for men – for one source see Caroline Criado Perez’s book Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men –  I suspect that men often need to be aware of the space they take and how that space impacts in positive or negative ways other people experiencing that space. 

The space you make and the space you take.

As we both create and take space, it can be valuable to step back and consider questions such as: 

What kind of spaces are we making? At Exponent II community is valued over conformity. In my years as a blogger, I have marveled at the wide range of perspectives and beliefs amongst the bloggers. Are the spaces we are creating spaces where people can be vulnerable? Where their wounds can be seen and held? Are we creating places where people have opportunities to contribute the gifts that they each individually have? How are decisions and resources made and allocated in the spaces we make and take? Is it a space of collaboration? Or is there a system of dominance and power over others?

As we move through the world, it seems more and more clear to me that we can create spaces of joy, wonder, awe, peace, friendship, kindness, and healing. We can create these spaces for both ourselves and others. In turn, we can be open to take the goodness that others have to offer us. This, though, requires us to take time to stop and reflect about the space you make and the space you take.