Contemplating Projection

(spoken by Nimue, scribed by James)

As far as I know, the idea of projection begins with Freud. For him, it was something a client might do relating to their therapist. By understanding that process the therapist could then gain insight into the client’s issues. These days, it’s more widely understood as something people do around problem parts of themselves. We tend to think of people projecting aspects of themselves that they don’t like, by unfairly thinking that really some other person is expressing those qualities.

I think in practice projection is something all of us do most of the time. Our best guide for making sense of other people is ourself, so we draw on how we are and what we would do to interpret the meaning of other people’s words and actions. By this means, an angry person might assume other people are also angry. A person who lies is more likely to think other people are dishonest.

I suspect that if you are a kind and well meaning sort of person, you’ll also project that onto your dealings with others. Well meaning people may be more likely to assume the best and think mistakes are innocent. This means that a kinder person may be more vulnerable to liars and cheats. If you aren’t looking for malice, and give the benefit of the doubt, that makes you easier to mislead.

On reflection, I’d rather be wrong on these terms. I’d rather judge others kindly, not harshly. I tend to assume regular human crapness, not deliberate unkindness. I also try not to assume that everyone else’s experiences align with mine, and to avoid assumptions that things mean the same to others as they do to me. We’re all different, and that’s really important. Just because something is easy or comfortable for me doesn’t mean that will be true for everyone, for example.