Guest Post: When mission rules become abuse
Guest Post by M.
The following is a copy of a letter the author sent to the Brazil Area Seventy regarding abuse in a Brazilian Mission. The Exponent II blog team has decided not to publish the name of the mission or the name of the mission president.
To the Brazil Area Presidency,
I am writing to you because I am seriously concerned about the behavior of Mission President ______ ______, who presides over the _________ Brazil Mission. As a trained therapist, I know how to recognize abuse. I have also read the Church’s teachings on abuse as are available on the Church website, and these teachings are in line with my professional training. Based on my training and the definitions provided by the Church, I believe him to be engaging in abusive, negligent, and otherwise toxic behavior. Not only are the behaviors and actions in question generally inappropriate and harmful, but they are also the antithesis of the Christ-like leadership one would expect of a Mission President for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For this reason, I am writing to you to make you aware of these behaviors.
As someone who has read the Book of Mormon multiple times in two languages, I feel I have a duty as taught by Jesus Christ to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. This is how I am fulfilling that duty. My hope is that after reading this letter, you too will feel compelled by the Spirit to take action to protect the precious and valiant Sisters and Elders who are suffering the effects of this deplorable behavior.
The following information has been relayed to me by a source that I wish to keep private. President ______ has a history of retaliating against missionaries who confide in outside sources such as their parents, friends, or church leaders. He retaliates with verbal threats of being sent home, verbal reprimand for talking to people about him, and/or punishing them through punitive measures such as sending missionaries to isolated regions or withholding money or help. Because of this history of punishing those who speak out, I will not be disclosing the names or other identifying information about the missionaries from whom these stories come.
The following is a short list of the concerning behaviors:
A returned missionary reported that they came home from their full-time mission traumatized because of President ________ and how he runs the mission. For example, they said he requested that they spy on one another and report to him about any “bad” behavior. They said the pressure to spy and tell on each other was so overwhelming that there was a cloud of darkness over the whole mission. This missionary also reported that President ______ once reprimanded them for doing something that was not previously classified as against mission rules- instead, he created the rule on the spot in order to justify his anger and contempt towards them. This is just one example of how he has set up a system of fear and distrust amongst the missionaries.
He also shows up unexpectedly to do interviews in which he asks the missionaries to tell on one another, and he threatens missionaries with being transferred to remote areas or other “punishments” if they do not gossip about their companion.
Another missionary was told that unless they spied on and told the President all the “bad” things their companion was doing, he would send that missionary home. When the missionary assured President _______ that their companion was indeed obedient and faithful, the President accused them of lying and again threatened the missionary that he would send them home. He also told the missionary that they would never be a senior companion (despite being out for over a year) until this missionary complied and made up bad things to say about their companion. It has gotten to the point that the missionaries are too afraid to even talk to one another about anything because they feel they cannot trust their companions to not offer up what they say to the President as a way to avoid his arbitrary penalties.
Another missionary reported that for three weeks in a row, they wrote to President ______ begging him for help because their companion was verbally and physically abusing them. The companion refused to train this missionary, threw things at them, yelled at them, gaslit them, and even threatened their life. Despite all of this being reported to President _______ in the weekly letters, he did not offer any help to this poor missionary. Even when this missionary reached out to the President through their fellow missionaries in leadership roles, their pleas for succor were ignored or dismissed. When this missionary finally turned to their parents for help with the situation, President _______ reprimanded the missionary for talking to their parents about what was going on.
There was another missionary who President _____ wanted to send home. Not for egregious disobedience, or even minor disobedience, but because the President simply did not like the missionary. But this missionary desperately wanted to continue faithfully serving the Lord, and refused to go home. In retribution, President _____ deactivated their money card so they were unable to buy food. Eventually, this missionary ran out of food and was forced to leave a mission that they sincerely wanted to serve.
President ______ commands the missionaries that they must not speak with their parents about him or any of the issues within the mission. He has directly told them, “You are not to talk to your parents about your mission. You must talk to me. I am your father now.” This quote comes from several sources. Anytime a missionary is experiencing difficulties, they are told that they must not inform their parents of their struggles or concerns under threat of punishment.
This lack of communication goes for the parents as well. Whenever parents attempt to contact the President about their children, there is no communication from the mission office.
They are told they can only send one email a week and may not respond to any family or friends who email them.
They are forbidden from doing any kind of service for members and new friends without his permission (which he never gives).
The missionaries must remain isolated from one another and may not socialize or converse with the fellow missionaries within their districts on P-days.
I had an amazing Mission President when I served my own full-time mission, and his kindness made my mission the wonderful experience that it was. Because I served a mission, I know that President _____’s actions are, at a minimum, absurd. I wish I could say that they are only absurd, but in fact, they are also abuse tactics meant to keep the missionaries living in isolation and fear and under President _______’s control. I find his actions deplorable, and I will not stand back and watch these missionaries experience abuse at the hands of someone called to guide, love, and serve them.
Sincerely,
M is an avid believer in justice, divine femininity, and sweet treats. She was raised in the Church outside of Utah, but has now lived in Utah for the last 10 years after graduating BYU.
