Confronting the Abusive LDS Doctrine of Eternal Polygamy
During the past few months, the LDS Church has worked to make polygamy more palatable to children and adults. First, it created a series of children’s picture slides that made sexual grooming and abuse appear acceptable:
After much online criticism, the disturbing pictures suddenly disappeared.
Then, the Church released the controversial John Taylor revelation in which Taylor declares that God said: “My everlasting covenants [of polygamy] cannot be abrogated nor done away with.” All who wish to enter into God’s highest glory “must and shall obey my law.”
Today Mormon polygamist groups use this revelation as one of main reasons they practice the “principle.”
Then, Dallin Oaks told Belgium members that there are “Mothers” in Heaven, which infers that Heavenly Father has many wives birthing trillions of spirit children.
The new temple endowment ceremony mentions the “new and everlasting covenant,” a clear reference to D&C Section 132, which tells women they will be destroyed if they don’t practice polygamy.
The top two leaders of the LDS Church are sealed to two women whom they assume will be their wives for eternity in the hereafter. Oaks even referred to polygamy in a conference address, when he said:
“A letter I received some time ago introduces the subject of my talk. The writer was contemplating a temple marriage to a man whose eternal companion had died. She would be a second wife. She asked this question: Would she be able to have her own house in the next life, or would she have to live with her husband and his first wife? [Laughter from the audience.] I just told her to trust the Lord. [More laughter.]
Fourteen of my direct ancestors practiced polygamy, and I have read the awful accounts of the women, who were left to fend for themselves and whose children seldom saw their fathers. All were coerced to practice polygamy by LDS leaders, who told them it was the only way to achieve eternal salvation. This practice included the sexual trafficking of vulnerable young female converts who came to Nauvoo and Utah from other countries, unaware that some would be snatched up as the property of powerful old men.
My mother was terrified of dying. As a second wife sealed to her husband, she told me she would rather be eternally single than live in a second-wife status. I am conflicted about how this will work out in the hereafter, since I love both of my parents dearly. Although my dad said his first marriage was awful and that he hope his spouse finds another husband, part of me is scared that I won’t be part of a forever family in eternity. Thank you, LDS Church, for this awful doctrine!
I will save for a later post the link between polygamy, the dehumanization of women, sex abuse, and domestic violence in the LDS culture, but research shows there is a statistical correlation in high-demand religions.
My faith crisis began with researching Joseph Smith on FamilySearch and seeing the 30 women they he “married” during his life. I already knew about Joseph’s polygamy, but I suddenly felt the suffering of these women and was overwhelmed with feelings of grief, sorrow, and anger. I realized that these women, some of whom were little girls or already married, were victims of sexual abuse.
Hundreds more women were sealed to Joseph posthumously, including my great-grandmother. That sealing was ratified in 1966 by President Howard W. Hunter. So, technically, Joseph is my great-grandfather.
I have a few questions to ask Joseph:
Why did you practice polygamy?
How did it work out for the women in polygamous “marriages”?
Why did you repeatedly lie to Emma?
Why did you choose to marry so many women if you loved Emma?
What are your views about polygamy now?
To all the polygamy deniers out there, I say,”I hear you. I don’t want to believe it, either, but facts show otherwise.”
To all those who say it will work out in the afterlife, I say, “I prefer to be married to one man only. I can’t see that strong feeling ever changing for me and many women I know?
The LDS church must eventually grapple with these issues:
About an equal number of men and women have been born. Where are all the polygamous wives coming from in heaven? Does this leave many men eternally single?
How do exalted Goddesses of flesh and bone produce spirits who do not have bodies?
Why would a loving God require people to enter into marriages that by their very nature create jealousy, loneliness, and even abuse?
The LDS Church must also confront current societal contempt for men like Warren Jeffs who groomed and married multiple women, some of them very young. The Church must decide if polygamy is good? true? loving? equitable? kind?
For those still questioning whether or not polygamy is a fulfilling relationship for women, I would recommend former polygamists’ books, Carolyn Jessop’s, “”Escape: A Memoir,” and Elissa Wall’s, “Stolen Innocence,” and Ann Eliza Young’s, “Wife No. 19: Or he Story of a Life in Bondage.” Carol Lynn Pearson’s book, “The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy” is a must read for anyone wants to better understand the subject. There are many, many books that document the abuses inherent in polygamy. Also, take a careful look at the difficult, dehumanized lives of women and chldren in Biblical poligamy, including Hagar, Leah, Bathsheba, and others.
The fruits of polygamy are bitter indeed.
I don’t know about you, but if polygamy is required in the highest part of the celestial kingdom, I would rather be somewhere else.
