If You’ve Tried Decluttering 100 Times Before and Failed… Here’s What You Might Have Been Missing

Let’s be honest. You’ve tried before.You might even be whispering something like this to yourself:
“This weekend, I’m finally going to declutter the garage.”

Only to find yourself eight hours later, sitting on a dusty folding chair, flipping through old birthday cards from 1993—surrounded by bins labeled “miscellaneous” and “keep (for now).”

You’re not alone.

It Wasn’t You. It Was the Method

I meet people every day—intelligent, kind-hearted, competent people—who genuinely want to declutter their homes, but feel like they’ve failed before… and fear they’ll just fail again.

They’ve read the books.
Watched the Netflix specials.
Bought the pretty organizing bins.
Tried the color-coded labels.
And told themselves, “This time will be different.”

But somehow… the clutter remains not just in their homes, but in their minds and hearts. And with each attempt, the emotional weight grows heavier.

If this sounds like you, here’s the truth you need to hear:

You didn’t fail at decluttering.
The method failed you.

Let me show you what I mean.

Why Most Decluttering Methods Don’t Work

They assume clutter is purely a physical problem.
That you can fix it with bins, labels, and a long Saturday afternoon.

But clutter isn’t just about too much stuff.
It’s about:

Emotional attachment – My kids made this… how can I throw it away?Guilt – It was a gift, I should keep it.Fear – What if I need it someday?Identity – This reminds me of who I used to be.Overwhelm – I don’t even know where to start.

And when you try to declutter without first addressing these emotions, you end up stuck, tired, and defeated. You shove everything back into the closet and pour a glass of wine to recover.

No judgment. We’ve all been there.

But here’s the shift:
What if your “failure” wasn’t failure at all—just a sign that you need a different, more compassionate approach?

A More Human Way to DeclutterStep 1: Start With Your Heart, Not Your House

Before you touch a single item, ask yourself:

What am I really hoping to feel when this is all done?
Peace? Relief? Spaciousness? Control? Freedom?

Write it down. Take a breath. Let it be your guide as you declutter your space.

Because decluttering isn’t just about how your home looks—it’s about how you want to feel in it and in your next chapter.

This emotional “why” becomes your anchor for the days when it gets hard—when the memories flood in or when you hit a wall with decision fatigue.

It turns decluttering from a shame-filled chore into an act of self-respect.

Step 2: Choose One Tiny Place

Seriously. Make it tiny.

When we try to do too much at once, we burn out fast.

Instead of saying, “I’ll declutter the whole basement this weekend,” say:
“I’m going to clean out one drawer today.”
That’s it. One drawer.

And if you’re thinking, that’s not enough, hear me out:

One drawer gives you a quick win.One drawer helps rebuild trust in yourself.One drawer reduces decision fatigue.One drawer becomes two… and momentum builds.

Also, it’s much easier to part with expired coupons and mystery batteries than your grandmother’s china.

Give yourself permission to go small.
Because small progress is still progress.

Step 3: Use the “Let Go with Love” Method

Let’s say you’re holding an item and you’re stuck.

You keep asking:
Should I keep this? Should I let it go?

Instead of asking whether it “sparks joy”—which, let’s be honest, a broken lamp rarely does—try asking:

Does this reflect who I am now?If I let this go, could it bless someone else?Am I holding onto this out of fear, guilt, or love?Is this item keeping me stuck in the past… or helping me move forward?

And if it’s still hard, say this out loud:
“I’m letting this go with love.”

It honors what it meant to you.
It respects the memory.
But it releases the object from its duty. It no longer has a hold on you.

This is how we emotionally declutter—not just physically.

Step 4: Celebrate the Win (Not the Square Footage)

Did you clear out a junk drawer?
Recycle a stack of 10-year-old magazines?
Donate one bag of clothes?

Celebrate it.

Text a friend. Call your mom. Take a walk in the fresh air.

Because decluttering isn’t about how much you got rid of.
It’s about how light you feel when you do.

You didn’t fail the last 100 times.
You just hadn’t tried it this way:

GentleEmotionalPracticalHuman

This time, you’re not decluttering from a place of guilt or pressure.

You’re decluttering from a place of love—
For your home, your future, and most of all… for you.

And that changes everything.

SHARE YOUR STORY!Sign up for Rita’s FREE Newsletter HERE!

Never miss an episode! Click the following link to like Rita’s Facebook page or subscribe to her Decluttering YouTube Channel. Check out our YouTube playlists if you want to learn more.

Follow me on social media for more updates:YOUTUBE | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM | LINKEDIN | TWITTER