The Biggest Trap with Success—And How to Overcome It
The number one golfer in the world just called winning major championships “not fulfilling.”
It’s making headlines in the sports world, and people are sensationalizing his comments. But what we actually saw is someone who is the best in the world showing that he’s still human, and articulating it in a direct way.
There is no greater trap than thinking that the accomplishment of some goal will fulfill you. What will fulfill you is who you become in the process of going for it.
Despite two Masters wins and a PGA Championship before turning 30, Scottie Scheffler was honest as to what he finds empty about reaching the mountaintop of his sport in a recent press conference.
“This is not… fulfilling,” Scheffler said.
“It’s fulfilling from the sense of accomplishment, but [winning] is not fulfilling from a sense of the deepest places of your heart,” he went on. “It feels like you work your whole life to celebrate winning a tournament for like a few minutes… It only lasts a few minutes.”
It’s hard for most of us to imagine how that could possibly be true.
How do you dedicate your whole life to standing on a podium, wearing a green jacket, or raising a trophy, only to feel empty by the time your head hits the pillow?
Scottie Scheffler is describing the arrival fallacy, a concept we’ve written about (and experienced) extensively:
Wherever you are, the goalpost is always 10 yards down the field. If you develop a mindset: “If I just accomplish _____, THEN I’ll arrive,” you are in for a rude awakening.
There is no arriving. The sooner you realize this, the better. This is true for Scottie Scheffler, and it holds true for anyone else striving for a significant goal.
Win a gold medal, you are on the stand for 3 minutes, and celebrate for a few weeks. Get a big promotion, you feel good about it for a day or two before it’s time to work again. Hit the New York Times bestseller list, you toast to your success, maybe even frame it and put it on the wall. But staring at a cut-out from a newspaper eventually gets boring.
We both thought we’d be content after each of our books first became national bestsellers. That lasted about half a day before we were asking how we could make the New York Times list, too. Recently, I (Brad) hit a PR deadlift: 520 pounds, which for me is a big lift. I remember thinking I’d order my favorite pizza to celebrate and maybe shift away from that kind of training for a bit. It was truly four minutes (I know this, because I didn’t even take up the full five-minute rest interval) before I was thinking about what it’d take to hit 550.
The human brain is wired to want more. We are suckers for the chase. We struggle to be content. The neurochemical associated with wanting (dopamine) is much stronger than the neurochemical associated with liking (serotonin).
Becoming aware of the arrival fallacy should not be a downer. It is actually supremely freeing! You no longer expect accomplishment or achievement to fulfill you. Instead, you start doing everything you can to find happiness, fulfillment, and energy in the process of pursuing your goals rather than having false expectations about what will happen when you do (or don’t) attain them.
We spend 99.9999 percent of our lives in the process. The results are mere blips in time. If you want to find fulfillment, then you’ve got to find it in the striving itself.
You’ve got to enjoy the process of self-discovery. Soak up the good moments along the way. Find joy in the relationships you forge. Inspire others and be inspired. Be of service to others—help, mentor, teach. Have fun doing the hard work.
It’s okay to be ambitious, to want to achieve. Just like Scottie Scheffler wants to win Major Championships, we want our books to hit bestseller lists. We don’t hide it. We push hard for it. And that’s great! We think you should push hard to achieve your goals, too.
It’s just that you’ve got to realize that no achievement will be as satisfying as the effort that went into it. That’s why it’s so critical to find joy, meaning, and satisfaction in the process.
In the words of the great Robert Pirsig: “There is no zen on the tops of mountains. The only zen you find on the tops of mountains is the zen you bring up there.”
— Brad and Steve
The post The Biggest Trap with Success—And How to Overcome It first appeared on The Growth Equation.
