Guessing the breed

‘Jay’s now thinking maybe you’re a small dog, like a Jack Russel,’ I smirked.

That made Arian pull a face, which caused Jay to start laughing, and I couldn’t help but laugh too. Arian made a few noises to that, like he didn’t appreciate the joke. For a moment I thought maybe we’d upset him, then he grinned and started making his new version of a laugh too. It was an odd sound to get used to, but it still meshed really well with mine and Jay’s, so I didn’t really care.

‘Oh, so you’re a great big dog then, are you?’ I pulled him into a headlock and rubbed my knuckles against his scalp.

Arian responded to this by nuzzling my hand and trying to lick me. I got the feeling that meant he didn’t totally understand the gesture anymore. There seemed to be a lot of things he didn’t totally understand right now, but that was okay, because even if he was still acting like a dog, he was acting like a dog who also happened to be Arian. So much of his personality shone through it was almost easy to forget this wasn’t how he always acted. I knew Jay felt the same way about it, even without discussing it with him. But, for some reason, nobody else seemed to agree with us. I guess with Zel still sick they were more preoccupied with that. But his fever was starting to come down now, and his breathing wasn’t anywhere near as bad sounding as it had been. I mean, I got it a little, Arian was different. Of course he was different, he’d been really sick with something that changed the way his brain thought. But interacting with him like this made it so easy for me to realise why my friends had never really struggled with all my memory issues. Because I was still me, just like Arian was still Arian. And maybe I didn’t always know exactly what he was saying, but I always knew it was him saying it, and my best friends were very easy for me to figure out.

‘Hey Sly, ask him if he’s a Great Dane,’ I could almost hear the grin in Jay’s voice.

‘Jay’s next guess is Great Dane,’ I relayed, ‘and he’s making the guess even though it’s supposed tuh be my turn,’ I poked my tongue out in the direction Jay’s voice had been coming from.

‘Well I figured since you were having a bath instead,’ he made an exaggerated noise I guessed was supposed tuh be him poking his tongue out back at me.

‘Yeah, whatever,’ I rolled my eyes, before turning my attention towards Arian, who was still licking my arm. ‘So, are you? A Great Dane?’

Arian stopped licking me, and made the noise he seemed to make when he meant no.

‘I’m really not sure how many other dog breeds I know,’ Jay sounded doubtful. ‘What about you?’

‘Have we said Dalmatian yet?’ My expression twisted thoughtfully.

‘Yeah,’ Jay’s response came at the same time as Arian’s yip for yes.

As Arian yipped, I couldn’t help but notice the way his gaze shifted towards Zel. He’d been doing that a lot, like he was keeping an eye on him. I couldn’t exactly blame him for being worried about how sick the person he loved was right now. I knew I would be if I were in his shoes.

‘What about a Golden Retriever,’ I made my next guess, ‘Pots was a Golden Retriever?’

Arian made his no noise again, and then shot me an odd look.

‘That’s the third time you’ve mentioned Pots,’ Jay laughed.

‘It is?’ I frowned.

‘Yeah, and for a dog you barely remember, you sure seem tuh miss him a lot right now? Hey maybe you just want Rye tuh be your replacement Pots.’

‘Don’t be stupid,’ I rolled my eyes, ‘my brain is probably doing a stupid or something.’

‘Isn’t it always,’ I could hear Jay’s amused smirk. ‘Okay, so that was two guesses for you…’

‘How was it two guesses if I’ve already said both of them before?’

‘Coz it’s not my fault you can’t remember what’s been said already,’ the amused tones remained. ‘Plus Rye can’t interact with me anymore, so by default all the guesses are kinda yours.’

‘Uh… yeah… I guess,’ I shot a sympathetic look in what I hoped was his direction.

‘Okay, well, if we’re both kinda outa ideas, ask him if he can give us a clue.’

‘Uh… mm, right,’ I turned towards Arian. ‘Jay wants a clue.’

Arian tilted his head thoughtfully for a few moments, and I got the feeling he wasn’t exactly sure how to get a clue across. Then something seemed to occur to him, which made him jumped down from the bed, and look as though he was searching for something. When he came to a stop in the area Jay’s voice was coming from, he used one hand to make a pawing motion at the air, and then barked twice. For a long couple of seconds it really confused me, then an idea kind of filtered through my brain.

‘So… you’re the kinda dog that finds lost things?’

Arian kind of yipped at that, and I could tell from his expression that I was close, but not exactly right.

‘So you don’t find things… you find people?’

There it was, a more definite yip, and he wiggled happily.

‘What kinda big dog finds people?’ Jay sounded more than thoughtful.

‘Um… I’m not sure…’

‘Not sure about what?’ Mathew’s voice sounded from the doorway behind me.

‘What kinda big dog is good at finding people,’ I turned towards him.

‘Saint Bernard,’ my eldest brother shrugged.

As soon as he said it Arian yipped again, then gave several happy barks, and bounced around like he thought it was a really good thing. Watching him I couldn’t help but think about how natural the movements looked, and just how well he could get his body to move in a really good facsimile of a dog. And, not for the first time, I got the very certain feeling if I tried to imitate his movements I would seriously fail, because watching him made me feel as though his brain wasn’t the only thing which had altered, his body had too. The second I thought it though, I got this vague memory of mentioning it to someone, and getting told that it wasn’t possible for their bodies to have changed, which left me feeling oddly deflated.

‘Do you think he deliberately chose the biggest dog breed he can think of, coz little dogs always think they’re bigger than they are?’ I could hear the way Jay must have been smirking.

‘No, I don’t think he chose it, or at least not in the way you’re thinking,’ I shook my head. ‘But his gift is all about finding people, and Saint Bernards find and rescue people, so it makes sense.’

‘Oh my god, do you think this means Zel’s a dog obsessed with colour?’ He laughed like it was the funniest thing ever.

‘I don’t think dogs can be obsessed with colour. But it’s probably the same as Rye, coz of their connection,’ I mulled it over for a moment, then focused my gaze on Arian. ‘It’s the same, right? You and Zel are both the same kinda dog, aren’t you?’

Arian made the noise for no, then looked amused as he crouched himself down a little.

‘He’s a smaller dog?’

An instant yip, followed by another amused look, and his new style of laughter.

‘Do you think he thinks it’s funny coz on some level he remembers he’s shorter than Zel, or…?’

‘Okay Sly, we have tuh go now,’ Mathew cut Jay off, which I guessed had to be coincidental since Mathew couldn’t actually hear Jay.

‘Uh… but…’ I turned towards my brother again.

‘Sly you need tuh be at the treatment centre in less than an hour,’ now my brother was cutting me off. ‘So get your stuff together and get going already.’

For a moment I stared kind of helplessly at him, then I checked the time, and sighed. He was right. Getting up, I grabbed the bag Leo had brought my stuff in and began shoving my things into it. Almost as soon as I started Arian whined. Then he grabbed the bottom of my bag with his mouth and pulled it cleanly out of my hands. For a moment I felt a little confused by how easily he’d managed to do that, then remembered the shortest of my friends was also currently by far the strongest.

As soon as he had the bag, he dropped it to the ground, and laid down on it. His gaze then lifted up towards me. His eyes large and pleading. He whined again.

‘Hey, it’s okay, I’ll be back, promise,’ I crouched down in front of him, and placed a hand on his head. ‘But I gotta go now so I can get the medicine I need tuh kill off the stupid,’ I pointed to the side of my head. ‘I know you remember about the stupid, and you want me tuh get better, right?’

He made this noise, like he knew the answer was yes, but still really didn’t want me to go.

‘Seriously Arian, it’ll be okay, I’m not going away forever. I will be back soon. I mean, I dunno exactly when,’ I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. ‘But as soon as I can, I will be back, I promise.’

He made concerned noises, then sighed, and got off of my bag. Almost as soon as he had, he jumped himself onto the bed, in another movement I felt would have been impossible for me to imitate, crawled over to where Zel was lying, and sat down beside him. Then he whined again and stared at me.

‘Don’t be a wally, of course I’m gonna say goodbye tuh him too,’ I playfully rolled my eyes, as I finished gathering my things together. ‘And, hopefully, when I’m back next his fever will have passed, and we’ll all be able tuh play together.’

That made Arian look pretty happy, and he wiggled a little, which I was beginning to feel was the equivalent of tail wagging. Swinging my bag onto my back, I sat down on the bed next to him, pulled him into a headlock, and rubbed my knuckles against his scalp. Arian instantly tried licking me again. That caused Mathew to make an odd kind of noise of his own. I ignored it though. This was the first time he’d seen my friends like this, so it was all probably coming as a bit of a shock.

Letting go of Arian, I turned my attention towards Zel. He still looked pretty sick, and I really didn’t want to leave without knowing for sure he was going to be okay, but I knew it wasn’t my choice.

‘You better be better when I come back,’ I gently stroked his hair, receiving quiet noises, and half-conscious nuzzling for my efforts.

‘Hey, say goodbye tuh them for me too,’ Jay’s voice sounded from over my shoulder.

‘Why, where are you going?’ I frowned, kind of disappointed he wasn’t going to stay and watch over our friends.

‘Where’s who going?’ Mathew’s voice was a little tight.

‘Jay,’ I glanced towards him.

‘He’s not planning tuh come with us, is he? Coz I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ I didn’t like the look on Mathew’s face when he said that.

‘Tell him no, that I’m planning tuh stay here, but Rye can’t hear me, and Zel’s not conscious right now,’ I could hear the tone in Jay’s voice. ‘And even if he were there’s no guarantee he’d understand me. Coz… you know… there’s no guarantee dog-Zel can read. I want you tuh say goodbye tuh them for me so it’s been said, so that when I go off tuh see Roxy, or check up on my daughter later I don’t feel so bad about leaving.’

‘Jay says he’s staying here for a while,’ I translated. ‘But since he can’t talk tuh Zel or Arian right now, he just feels like I should say goodbye for him whilst there’s someone around who can, that’s all.’

‘Okay, good, do that for him, then we really gotta go Sly,’ Mathew shifted impatiently.

‘What exactly would be the problem if he did wanna come with us?’

‘Sly…?’

‘No, I wanna know,’ I folded my arms stubbornly. ‘Do you have some kinda problem with Jay?’

‘We don’t have time for this. Just say your goodbyes or whatever, and get going already.’

‘No, I…’

‘Just… just do what he… he says Sly,’ Jay’s voice had that shrinking edge to it, it got whenever anyone started sounding even remotely angry. ‘It… it’s okay. I… I get it. Just… just say goodbye for me, and… and go with your brother, okay? Your… your treatment is… is more important than this.’

‘Okay,’ I sighed in defeat, and obeyed.

Extract from We Giants, by Ila Golden