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Alternate Universe Ads

Since I’ve been trying to learn more about marketing, I’ve been paying closer attention to ads for all sorts of products. One of the more amusing things I’ve noticed is that if you are willing to embrace a certain overconfident marketing mindset, pharmaceutical ads can just as easily be genre magazine ads. In some parody parallel universe, these people are working for us.

Let me demonstrate:

Don't let allergy ruin your day! Stay inside. Read Clarkesworld. Picture is an astronaut under a pink flowering tree and next to a field of dandelions. Pollen is floating. Ask your doctor about Clarkesworld Magazine Closeup of doctor's hands shaking tiny planets from a pill bottle into his hand The Golden Solution! Open your eye to new worlds. Read Clarkesworld. A hand holds an eyedropper with a massive golden drop splashing onto an eye in a glass on a desert in front of mountains. It's time for a Clarkesworld summer. You already know that the makers of subscription Clarkesworld are the experts in short fiction. And that Clarkesworld can help keep you boredom free. Now you can tell your friends who may suffer from frequent and persistent boredom about Clarkesworld. Remember to read your Clarkesworld as directed for 24 hours of complete boredom relief. Picture is a woman in a purple dress with her arms in from of the air. Behind her is a clock as tall as she is and then blue sky with purple pills falling left to right. There is an oval with a clarkesworld cover and get yours now! At the bottom is the robot logo for Clarkesworld. The Stories You've Been Dreaming Of. Enjoyment for the mind and body. It's what you've been craving. Amazing adventures from the comfort of your own bed. That's what Clarkesworld is all about: helping people find stories and escape from the world around them. It's not only non-narcotic, it's approved for long-term use. So you can feel comfortable reading it night after night. Don't even bother asking your doctor. Clarkesworld is right for you. Photo is a man sleeping on his side in bed, facing the camera. A glowing green butterfly is on his shoulder.

I’m not sure what I will do with all this new arcane knowledge, but it was good for a laugh. (If you can’t read the text on the alternates, click and it will open in a larger window.)

Concerned about reading short fiction? Ask about Clarkesworld. Text is on green background with a screaming possum in the background.

Side effects may include…

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Published on July 07, 2025 08:19
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