Having boundaries

Forum: Anger, Frustration & ADHD

There are frequent arguments that never resolve and I the non adhd spouse gets blamed and named called. Things continued to worsen and marriage therapy didn't work for him but for me it did. He has adhd and became more obsessive of me. Controlling and paranoid. Im not allowed to have friends with women or men. If someone likes a post and it is a man. Spouse says im sleeping with him. He now got a diagnosis  from licensed social worker at a 1 hr appt that she asked questions that he has adhd. But his behavior scares me sometimes. But now he has diagnoses he said it is the adhd causing it. I started  my own therapy years ago and im being told this is abuse. 

 

Example. One time I was tired and wanted to go to bed after kids did. I proceeded to get ready for bed and spouse wanted me to spend time with him. I said calmly  im just really tired. After I got on bed and room dark he came in started yelling at me for fake sleeping and got on top of the bed on my side to continue to yell. But he he stepped on my food with all his weight and I cried out in pain. He continue to call me bitch and burn in hell. I begged him to leave me alone and all I wanted to sleep. The ironic thing 2 times the previous week he went to bed right after we put kids to bed. 1 was because he was tired and other was feeling sick.  Also one night I was sleep and heard something woke up and saw a shado   figure. Got scared jumped out of bed to turn on light and was my spouse he started yelling at me for fake sleeping. After that in marriage therapy I explained  I will be moving downstairs as I felt uncomfortable. I was afriad to sleep.

But then middle of the nights several times I heard loud thumps above me nest day I would casually ask if he knew what going on and he made it like I was making it up. Well after so many nights not sleeping well I went up stairs quietly and found him hunting up and down on floor. 

Can this be adhd? Or something else. I feel it is abuse

 But now he has adhd diagnosis he said i make him  do things things and adhd cant help it