Forgiveness – Excerpt from Foundations of Healing – Chapter 6

There is another important aspect of forgiveness. “Forgive and forget” is an age old cliché that in any discussion about forgiveness holds immeasurable value. I often hear people say “I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget” This creates a contradiction that cannot be overcome if true forgiveness is to be achieved. Why must we forget if we are to truly forgive? When a person holds the history of an issue or transgression in their mind and heart they will always have the expectation, in the back of their mind, that the situation will repeat itself. This will promote suspicion and distrust that will manifest in your attitude or behavior toward the other person. I have listened as people have used another cliché “Those who do not learn from history, are doomed to repeat it” This may be true in cases of societal or political issues, but this concept has no place in our interpersonal relationships. We must, if we are to achieve true peace, harmony and healing in our relationships, allow ourselves to accept a sincere apology and with equal sincerity forgive the other person without reservation.