CarrollBlog 6.9

Commencement address to the AIS class of 2012

A few years ago I had a good idea for a book and called my literary agent to tell it to her. The idea was to go to famous people in all walks of life and ask them one question—WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED? Only that—four words, and then just let them talk. She asked who I had in mind and I said all sorts-- politicians, actors, sports stars… people from all walks of life and of all ages who have achieved great success and as a result, might have made interesting discoveries about how life functions that would help us all. Perhaps they’d be willing to reveal some of these discoveries. I could hear a distinct lack of enthusiasm in my agent’s response and the fact I wasn’t interested in actually writing the book but thought maybe one of her other clients would, added to her indifference. Interestingly enough, a few years later Esquire Magazine in the US started a monthly feature in which they ask famous people WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED that still runs in the magazine on a regular basis.

Be that as it may, the question is a good one and especially relevant now, on the night you graduate from high school. Let’s take a moment to break this down: Four classes a day, 180 days a year for the past four years. That makes roughly 3000 classes you’ve sat through. Of course that’s not including the glorious days of middle and lower school. What have you learned? And here’s another question— how much of it do you think you’ll remember five or ten years from now? Chances are, not much. You’ll remember things from the classes you liked—The Napoleonic Wars, String theory, Watson and Crick, or Meursault from THE STRANGER may stay in your head and heart because for various reasons they remain relevant as you grow older. But gerunds, Thomas Malthus, the Fibonacci sequence, that frisky chemical element rhodium, or The Elements of Style? Forget it—you left those guys behind a long time ago and truth be told, good riddance.

But life is not just school, despite the feeling that sometimes our days consist of a never ending series of B blocks. So answer this-- what have you learned outside school? Think for a minute--If you have younger brothers or sisters, what could you tell them right now that you’ve learned either in school or out that might help them move more easily or happily through their 12 year old lives?

Because this is a graduation speech, of course there must be some significant quotations peppered throughout from smart people, but I promise there will only be a few and they’re pretty cool. The psychologist Carl Jung said “I am not what happened to me, I am what I chose to become.” Meaning of course that unless a piano falls on your head as you’re walking down the street one day, much of what happens in life is in your own hands. But what’s sobering is as we grow older, many of us begin to doubt just how much we really do control our own lives, and how much of it rests in the hands and decisions of others—bosses, professors, co-workers, fate.

Whether we have learned that we are the masters of our own fate, or some of it, or only a bit here and there, one thing is certain—things change and what you were sure of yesterday is constantly being upended by the events of today or tomorrow. That’s not such a bad thing though because it makes life interesting and challenging all the time. If what you learned today was applicable to all of your tomorrows, life would be dull.

Some years ago I was on a highfaultin' panel in Finland discussing 'what is great art'? To the amusement and dismay of some of my fellow august panel members, I said it’s easy to tell the difference between great art and junk: If I walk into an art gallery, see a picture and my first reaction is to say an astonished, delighted “WOW!” then it is great art—at least for me. On the other hand if my only reaction is to say “So what?” then it is not—whether the picture is painted by Rembrandt or Raymond Brandt. I think the same holds true for all art and even life itself. Why do I bring this up now? Because one of the things I have learned is it is best to try and live a life pursuing the Wow! rather than the “So what?” Whether that life is in high finance or deep sea exploration, I think people should try and pursue what fascinates them rather than just what pays the bills, gives them security, or keeps them materially comfortable. If making a fortune is what captivates you, then by all means go for it. But if you’re pursuing it because you think the stuff riches bring will make you happy some time in a distant future way off there on the horizon, then you’re likely to be disappointed. What I have learned is to try and move life toward “Wow!” now, rather than one that says ‘in five years I hope that what I’m doing now will result in lots of Wow.’ The Swiss writer Robert Walser said it nicely “I don’t want a future, I want a wonderful present. To me this appears of greater value.”

I’ll tell you one other thing I have learned over the years: No matter what your interests are, find your heroes. Learn from them, then take everything you need from them and move on. Soon it will be your turn—with what you’ve gathered and learned try to make something entirely new; something so different and great that it could only have come from you and your vision. Make visible what, without you, might perhaps never have been seen. In the end, try to become the kind of hero you were once looking for.

Recently a young woman named Marina Keegan graduated from Yale University in the United States. From all signs, she had a very bright future ahead of her, having already published work in The New York Times and had a job lined up at The New Yorker magazine. Several days after graduating, she was killed in an automobile accident. In one of the last editorials she published in the Yale Daily News, she discussed her feelings about graduation. Here’s an excerpt from it:

“What we have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can change our minds. We can start over. Get a post-baccalaureate degree or try writing for the first time. The notion that it's too late to do anything is comical. It's hilarious. We're graduating college. We're so young. We can't, we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it's all we have.”

Let me close here with words from the novelist Michael Ondaatje:

You step delicately

into the wide world now

And your real prize will be

The frantic search.

Want everything. If you break,

Break going out not in.

Congratulations class of 2012. Tonight you are our heroes.