How Not to Feel Discouraged

Feeling discouraged is easy. Actually, it’s easier than one might expect. As one of my college professors once lectured, it is easier to pull a mood down than to bring one up. I call it the natural disaster effect. It may take months or even years to build a structure but only minutes or seconds for a natural disaster such as a wildfire, earthquake, hurricane, or tornado to completely destroy it beyond repair. Moods are similar. A group of partier goers may be riding high until a Debbie Downer appears on the scene and sucks out every molecule of joy.

Another added component is so much negative stuff happens during the day that people get exposed to without anything positive to balance with, it can drag one’s mental state into the dumps. It is looking for the light at the end of the tunnel when it’s still a hundred miles away.

No one is immune to feeling discouraged, but some people are better prepared to deal with it. For some, it may come naturally. For most, it’s likely learned. So, how do they? Let’s get to it.

One way is to make a list. Making lists can be helpful and beneficial in many ways.

First, it frees the mind from having to think or remember. Just look at the list and wah-la. Whatever you need to recall or remember will be staring you in the face, unless of course, you forget to read or make a list. It is a sort of roadmap that allows the mind to rest and cruise on autopilot.Lists can allow you to readily see how tasks need to be prioritized and a schedule of when to get them done. This increases efficiency.When a list is utilized, it reduces the anxiety and stress of decision-making. All one has to do is follow the list like the Yellow Brick Road, and it will lead to the desired designation—no evil witches on broomsticks or flying monkeys.Being able to check off tasks as they are completed allows the list creator to visually see the progress being made. This can be great satisfaction and may lead to increased motivation.Last on this brief list but certainly not least or the only reason left, a running list of tasks helps one to better plan her day.

That brings to the surface the next question. What goes on this list?

The first step has already been mentioned. Know that you are alone.Accept that it is okay to make mistakes (most people do) or not to be perfect (most people aren’t).Acknowledge that your feelings of sadness or disappointment are valid and appropriate. Here’s where one needs to be wary of being gaslit or toxic positivity. Unfortunately, I have a person in my life who any time I experience disappointment and complain is quick to say, “You’re always so negative.” It’s a rude blowoff as if I don’t have the right to feel what I feel or that my feeling isn’t legitimate. It’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, or upset when something we really want or work hard to obtain falls through. What isn’t okay is wallowing in those negative feelings.Create a list of all of your strengths and positives. For anything negative you think or feel, list three positive traits/aspects about yourself. The idea here is to have the positives/good outweigh the negatives/bad.Along similar lines, make a list of things that you are thankful and grateful for. This allows one to have a positive balance in life and a reminder of all the things that are going right currently. This is different from listing personal strengths because things that a person is grateful for may not necessarily be something within his/her control. For example, one may be grateful that the person he/she was paired to complete a project with had an easy nature and was knowledgeable of the task. Or one may be thankful for pleasant weather on his/her wedding day. When I had a blowout on the highway, I wasn’t thankful for the blowout, but I was thankful that the eighteen-wheeler behind me saw and was able to avoid crashing into me.

A second way to avoid feeling discouraged is to talk to someone. Again, know that you are not alone. Sharing how you’re feeling with others not only lifts the weight, but others may have useful input that will help you solve or resolve whatever has you feeling discouraged. However, there is a cravat to this. It goes without saying that one should only share with someone who is both knowledgeable and trustworthy.

Let’s be real. Some people are more than willing to dole out advice and they are dumber than a post. When I began my writing journey, I was part of an online writing group that allowed “newbies” to ask questions to “established” writers. The problem was that the “established” writers had not been vetted. They would spit out generic advice, and others in the group would repeat it. It was by far some of the worst advice I’ve ever received, only, at the time, I didn’t know it. It wasn’t until I asked a question and received an answer that I knew 100% was incorrect did I started to clue. When I politely questioned the response and was met with hostility and belittlement, I knew I was onto something. My father always warned if a person immediately takes offense or quickly goes onto the defense about something relatively harmless or innocent, the person likely is overcompensating because he/she has something to hide. I should also note that I wasn’t the only or the first person to question some of the responses. I just hadn’t paid enough attention to those, either. Eventually, these “established” writers were exposed, but the damage had been done.

Simultaneously, I was part of another online writing group where the established writers were truly established and had sound advice. Did their advice work for everyone? No. Were they always correct? Of course not. No one is perfect. However, they were honest in their responses and did not claim to give absolutes. They also refrained from tossing about generic responses and explained their responses.

When one talks about discouragements, it should be with someone who is willing to listen to the issue and work with you through it. If they offer advice, it will be based on what you’ve said and not some fortune cookie slip. It also should be a person who isn’t going to put your business in the streets. This means avoiding the town gossip.

If you don’t have anyone in your circle that you feel comfortable sharing or who you think will understand, speak to a professional counselor or therapist. Many are affordable or work on a sliding scale. If scheduling or transportation is an issue, some reputable online resources are available. Just be sure to thoroughly do your research before beginning any therapy. Remember, the aim is to make the situation better. Confiding in the wrong person could possibly make you feel even more discouraged.

That’s a wrap on today’s topic. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button, and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

If Brokeback Mountain, 8 Seconds, Poltergeist, and Supernatural had an orgy, Demon Rodeo would be the lovechild.

Demon Rodeo is available now on Amazon. For video book trailers, visit my TikTok page. The full blurb is on my Instagram and Amazon.

Demon Rodeo is the first book in the Chasing the Buckle series but can be read as a standalone. It’s a friends-to-lovers romance set in the rodeo world. These are not your typical cowboys. It’s a widely diverse cast of characters and a mashup of genres that aren’t always seen together. If you’re looking for a palate cleanser, this may be a book for you.

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Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

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About the Author:

Hi, I’m Genevive, and I am a contemporary sports romance author. My home is in South Louisiana. If you like snark and giggles with a touch of steamy Cajun and Creole on the side, I may have your poison in my stash of books. Drop by the bayou and have a look around. The pirogues are always waiting for new visitors.