Notes from the Underground: Rants of a Self-Loathing Man

Sneha Jaiswal (Twitter | Instagram)

‘Tedious rants of a fictional man for his gentlemen readers,’ could’ve been the alternative title for ‘Notes from the Underground’ by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Modern readers could turn the book into a drinking game – take a shot each time the narrator addresses his readers as “gentlemen,” immediately excluding female readers (or whatever one identifies as) and treating them as intruders in his “boys’ club” rant about the world.

It’s essentially just that, an unknown narrator, a bitter civil servant living in St Petersburg, who loathes himself, compares himself to a sewer rat, then goes on rambling about the absurdities of life, the futility of free will, and a whole bunch of random things. He lives an isolated life, has no friends, or family, calls his life ‘the underground life’ (hence the comparison to rats), and when he goes to work, he enjoys making people miserable.

My first impulsive reaction was to rate ‘Notes from the Underground’ a 1 star out of 5, but then, since I haven’t read it completely, it seemed wrong to do so. Also, it is filled with quote-worthy stuff, but unfortunately padded with mind-numbingly repetitive thoughts. I started reading the book on January 11, 2025, and as of 19th March of the same year, I’ve finally given up on trying to finish it. I only read over 40% of the book and couldn’t take it anymore. At one point, the narrator says, “Reading, of course, was a great help—exciting me, giving me pleasure and pain. But at times it bored me fearfully.” The last part perfectly sums up my feelings about this book.

And every time Dostoevsky addressed his readers as ‘gentlemen,’ I felt personally attacked…. like, am I not worthy of reading this as a woman? Sure, it was written in a different time, but whatever, he sounds like a total patriarchal snob. Although, paradoxically, the narrator views himself as someone extremely worthless, someone who isn’t even worthy of being an insect. At the same time, the narrator admits to feeling both inferior and superior than everybody around him. Bipolar much? Yes. 100%. One second the dude wants nothing to do with anybody, next second he basically sings P!nk’s song “I wanna get in trouble, I wanna start a fight”.

I mean, well, this book was just not for me. It’s an interesting attempt at painting the innermost thoughts of a vile protagonist, but the non-stop complaining about different things is grating. I was in complete awe of Dostovesky’s ‘Crime & Punishment’, especially of the brilliant stream of consciousness employed in the novel to detail every thought of the protagonist. In ‘Notes from the Underground’ too, the author uses a similar technique, except that there’s no plot, just a man whining to the moon.

This is probably a good pick for male readers going through an existential crisis and feeling exhausted by everyone around them. However, ‘Notes from Underground’ will only pull someone deeper into despair, it’s not a book one can draw strength from. Unless, of course, finding someone even more miserable provides comfort, in which case Dostoevsky’s unnamed narrator serves as the perfect inspiration to feel better about yourself.

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