There Should Be No Should

I’ve written elsewhere about the notion of the word “should.” It’s an insidious little word that sneaks its way into conversations all too easily and to great detriment to all. 

Are you sure you should do that?

Maybe you should try taking things slower/faster/a different way…

Even though this feels good, I shouldn’t want it, shouldn’t need it, shouldn’t crave it.

We’ve all said it; we’ve all heard it. And it never feels good. “Should” implies judgement of ourselves and others. Why bind ourselves to narrow, externally imposed constructs of what “should” be right, “should” be acceptable, “should” be pleasurable? (Unless, of course, being bound is what you like…)

And specifically, within the context of the BDSM, D/s, and other power exchange communities—provided you’re engaged in safe, sane, consensual practices—there should be no should.

I encourage us all to critically examine* our use of the word “should” and adapt accordingly.

* You know, I really shouldn’t split an infinitive like that.

(Here’s a link to the song I reference in the image above, in case you’d like to have a listen.)