How to handle adhd partner when I'm confrontation adverse?

Forum: Anger, Frustration & ADHD

I've become used to angry outbursts towards me from adhd partner exactly as others describe on here. Sudden. Unexpected. Pointless. I find myself in confrontation and no idea how it has occurred. 

Ive also watched him kick off at other men over disagreements, things he didn't like or Road rage. 

But then I watched him kick off at a woman half his age and from my POV he looked like a bully. Although I get treated like that weekly, it was horrifying to watch. He always thinks his reasons are valid and reasonable too, nothing will ever show him otherwise. 

I withdrew. Truly horrified and embarrassed. I attempted to avoid him so it didn't look like I was with him. As a result he stormed off elsewhere. But I was grateful. Later, I couldn't work out what I could have done there. Should I have come to the defense of that woman? Should I try to diffuse or explain he has adhd? Should I run away? How do others handle this situation? The anxiety I feel around aggression, confrontation and raised angry voices is sky high, I tend to just get rooted to the spot. And I hate him for bringing it to me. It can happen out of nowhere. And it's been happening for 15 years. Although that's the first with a young woman I've seen.