The Banana Index

Ladies and gentlemen, by the one index that has proven reliable over my lifetime, socialism in the United States is receding. Not on the way out, precisely, but promising to go down instead of up. The index is a little forward-looking, you see.

What is this magical indicator? Well, the abundance and price of bananas.

No, wait, I haven’t completely lost my mind, and I do understand that it makes absolutely no sense, but–

The origin of this is a joke. Not a particularly wonderful jok...