Avoiding parent/child but important things are missed...

Support for the ADHD Partner

My wife hasn't followed through on any kind of treatment, so things aren't great.

Yesterday, I discovered she didn't pickup very critical medication for our epileptic cat. Weeks ago, before the holidays, I brought up meds would be out soon. My wife diligently managed prescription renewal with the vet and orders with the pharmacy to refill between Christmas and New Year's. I asked her on Tuesday (NYE) to make a reminder for herself to pickup the meds Thursday Jan 2nd when the pharmacy was open again. Well, 5pm after a long day at work and other responsibilities, I get home and ask if she picked up the meds... She did not (she'd been working and apparently decided on a whim to clean up a lot of her DOOM piles). So, fortunately the pharmacy was open until 6pm and I got the needed meds.

Everything I have read says to avoid parenting and micromanaging your ADHD spouse. So, other than handling anything of any importance myself in addition to working all day and the other responsibilities, how do I avoid these enraging shit shows?! She can't be trusted on important things that affect our family...

We talked it, the preliminary steps got done, I reminded, I asked her to setup a reminder for herself, and still extremely close to failure and affecting our cat's health.