Gamify Date Night to Improve Eagerness to Engage

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 12/15/2024. Joy in Marriages with ADHD

Date night!

We all love the concept.  But I hear many complaints from non-ADHD partners that they are tired of being in charge of date night.  Their ADHD partner 'never seems to get around to planning any.'  I get the disappointment, though I also push back sometimes and suggest that those with the executive functioning skillset might be well-suited to doing that planning if they don't take the lack of involvement from the ADHD personally.

However, here is another approach that might get a bit more attention from ADHD partners - Alphabet Date Night.  I ran into this concept online and loved it immediately because it's so FUN!  It also hits on two ADHD motivational strengths - gamification and 'new'.  

The idea is that you cycle through the alphabet selecting dates that start with different letters of the alphabet to keep things fresh.  Only use any given letter once in a 26-date cycle.  Some examples:

A

apple picking alpacas (at the zoo) aquarium art exhibit

B

basketball game basket exhibit boating/boats biking beach

C

car show cycling cat bar (where you have lunch with cats - yes, it's a thing) cooking (together; take a class; go to a cooking shop and pick out one thing for your kitchen) comedy (movie; club; take an improv class together)

You get the idea.  You can look up lists of alphabet dates online...or you can have the fun of making your own.  Post it online in a joint document or on a bulletin board somewhere in your house and add to it as you think of new ideas.

So much fun!

Tags: date night, alphabet date night