Guest Post: I’ll Join You Where You’re At

By Kara Stevenson

When my friend first told me that she was a Mormon, I laughed at her. Not because I was mocking her religion, but because I didn’t know that Mormonism existed. I thought it was a religion that never caught traction and died with Joseph Smith. I thought she was making a joke. But she wasn’t.

A few years later she invited me to join her at a youth conference. I better understood Mormons that day.

I saw a people who were brave; boldly testifying in an increasingly secular world.

I saw a people who passionately stood by their values.

I saw a people who strived to be better.

I saw a people who loved God.

I saw a people who were trying their best.

It brought me to tears that this was the group of people that I had laughed at, simply because I was ignorant to the fact that they had even existed.

After several years as a faithful member of the church, I experienced a faith crisis and discovered a new group of people: the ex-Mormon community.

I knew that people left the church. For the most part I respected and understood their reasons for doing so. But I would be lying if I said that I always thought positively of them. I heard the typical tropes that most of us hear: they’re lazy, lacked faith, gave up, and are filled with bitterness.

But I didn’t recognize that thousands of these ex-Mormons worked together to build community and support groups.

I didn’t know that they existed.

I stepped into their space, and I better understood ex-Mormons that day.

I saw a people who were brave — daring to question the status quo and navigate the unknown despite tremendous outside pressures.

I saw a people who passionately stood by their values.

I saw a people who strived to be better.

I saw a people who loved humanity.

I saw a people who were trying their best.

It saddens me that I didn’t learn this lesson the first time: All kinds of people exist and take up space in this world. And they deserve our respect. They deserve to be seen, heard, and validated in their experiences.

Mormons and ex-Mormons aren’t too different. Both communities are filled with broken people who desperately wish to be understood, people who wish to be seen and to have their very existence recognized.

But too often, ex-Mormons may unwittingly fulfill scripture and point, mock, and scorn at those tightly holding onto the iron rod as they inch forward, filled with faith and hope that the beautiful tree of life will be waiting for them at the end.

And many who hold the iron rod do not recognize that, while their grip is firm in one hand, the other may be pointed, mocking, and scorning those who dare to let go and wade into the mist, off on a journey to discover if maybe, just maybe, there is more beyond the rod.

Here’s to hoping that others can learn this lesson quicker than I could.

Humanity is beautiful. Our differences are beautiful.

Though our journeys may look different, at our cores we are all perfectly imperfect beings striving to do our best.

I don’t care if you’re holding onto the iron rod or if you’ve found yourself exploring the mist. I’ll join you where you’re at. Because wherever you are, that place exists. It is a valid place to be. And I refuse to be ignorant to that again.

As long as you are there, it’s a good enough place for me, too.

 

Kara Stevenson is a BYU-I graduate with a bachelors in communications. She primarily uses her degree to negotiate with her two independent and fierce daughters. She is a Disney addict, a video game lover, and she enjoys dabbling with writing on the side.