Connecting with community
(Nimue)
As Druids and Pagans we can often end up feeling like we are on the outside, or at the edges of mainstream society. However, I think the ‘mainstream’ is an illsioin and that in practice more people feel like outsiders than feel like they’re at the centre of things. There are so many people trying to maintain facades, and running around frantically trying to keep up with whatever they believe everyone else is doing. If we could meet each other more often in gentler and less performative ways, that would help.
One of the problems with being online a lot is how easy it can be to fake perfection. Feeling under pressure to do that leaves people also feeling fraudulent and insecure. When we meet in person it’s harder to hide the bad hair days, the cock ups and the mess. This is better for us. I’m a huge fan of the internet, I love social media but I recognise the shortcomings.
I’m very deliberate online about bringing something real rather than trying to fake the perfect life. I talk about the struggles and setbacks. I haven’t got it all figured out. I’m not winning at everything, and on some fronts I’m not even sure what winning would look like. I also know that being a bit crap opens the door to learning. Permission to mess up is permission to grown.
I love the spaces where we can encounter each other informally. Space you don’t have to pay to get into, where there is no dress code, and we can just be people together. I love the traditions (new and old) that invite this. One of my local ones is a late night shopping opportunity ahead of Christmas, that has music in the streets and a lantern parade. This is my second lantern parade this year. It’s a beautiful way to get together, share lovely things and just be around each other in a low pressure way. In Stroud, many of the lanterns are made by children, and look that way. There’s a loveliness in that, alongside the beauty of lanterns that are more skilfully made.
Gentle spaces like this are affirming. Being able to turn up as your messy, imperfect self is good. Coming together to make something beautiful out of all that chaos and good intention is a magical thing. We need the spaces that allow us to be human together, with no impossible demands and plenty of room for muddles and limited skills.
