Limitations?

An excerpt from my upcoming book about chronic kidney disease:

I went to a men’s retreat lately, and was in clover with worship, fellowship, good teaching and fine food, but felt the need to rest a lot. I had a tremendously busy work week leading up to the retreat, but was somehow able to leave on time for the getaway, and in fact, it was my manager’s steadfast decision to keep me on schedule for my event that convinced me it was okay to get going. 

We had a whirlwind of change in our department, but I was able to get myself situated for my time off, and got to the destination early. This suited me well because I like to ease into things like easing into a long hot shower. You want the temperature to not burn, while ensuring the water is hot enough to soothe and comfort.

I was able to get my things set up at my lodging, and still made the prayer time for our contingent at the retreat. But after dinner and the main events of the first evening, I headed off to bed.

I slept well, but awoke feeling unusual. I’d had a sinus infection coming up, and I think it migrated to other parts of me causing more symptoms which I am still shedding from my body today. The next morning, I knew I’d rested well, but I was kind of comatose for some hours. Had I slept too much? Or was I depressed or worn out? I participated very fully that day, but again, as night fell, I found myself back in bed, my roommates staying up late, and determined that while I done much better than the previous’ years’ retreat, that the following year, if able to come, I’d stay up later and be stronger in fellowship. 

I was invited to walk to the Cross on the hill, but thought it might be too strenuous. I agreed to walk down to the water, but the hike was over a narrow twisty path, and after following the guys for a half hour or so, feeling unsure of my footing and lightheaded and uncertain, I begged out and returned to my room. Taking an hour nap I felt better, but was feeling guilty about retreating from the hike.

Back home:

For the past several months, since I stood outside for hours trying to help with a home repair, I’ve been overcome with fatigue. I don’t know if my kidneys are at issue, but I need frequent naps around work and free time, and go to bed early most days. I do find that prolonged standing in direct sun seems to be bad for me. 

I’m only fifty-six, but feel like my health could be that of an eighty year old. I’m content with my lot, but don’t want to disappoint my wife or my friends.

Is this what happens when you don’t take good care of yourself? Or is this the wages of sin? Or do I just have bad genes from generations of hard living? I don’t know, but I’m going to make the most of every opportunity, because the days are not good.

ꭥ

Be very careful then, how you live, not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, for the days are evil. 

-Ephesians 5:15-16