The Father Switch

They told me
I’d feel like a father
Once my boy came out
Like the flick of a switch
And yet
When the doctor
Handed him to me
I didn’t feel like a father
I felt like I was holding
Someone else’s baby
And the doctor
Had made a mistake
But of course
He didn’t make a mistake
And we took our son home
And for the last month
I’ve been trying to flick
The switch
And sometimes
When my son
Grabs my thumb
With his little hand
Or sleeps peacefully
In his bed
I see sparks
But for now
The father switch
Remains stuck