Survival and the diet of crumbs
(Nimue)
No matter where you are in the world, the odds are that recent political choices in America are going to make life harder for you. For women, POC, queer, impoverished and disabled people, life in America is set to get much harder and more dangerous. It’s worth noting that these may be ‘minorities’ but taken as a whole, that’s the majority of people.
Here’s what I’ve got.
Having lived through a great deal of domestic abuse, I can say with confidence that it is possible to survive on a diet of crumbs – psychologically speaking. It’s incredibly hard work to be looking for crumbs of hope and tiny good things when mostly your life is a trashcan fire, but it is possible, and worth doing. You will feel exhausted doing it, and it will not entirely protect you from depression and anxiety. It will stop you sliding so far into despair that you either can’t function, or become complicit.
Look for the small beauties and the slightest reasons for gratitude. Focus on any small good you can find, and the slightest wins. Hold onto possibility and fight for every shred of hope you can keep alive. Nurture small and realistic dreams because if you can make anything good happen, it will help you a lot. Not giving up is an everyday fight when you are in a toxic environment. Fighting will cost you, where giving up or joining in would be much easier.
It’s when we give up, or worse still join in, that they win. This is how oppression triumphs and how all good things can be defeated. Whatever fight you take on in your own life is part of a much bigger fight, and your contribution matters. In keeping going, you will be able to help others keep going too. Sharing what good you can will help other people keep their heads above water. The good you can do in helping other people survive is vitally important.
No one can survive on a diet of crumbs forever. It takes a tremendous toll. But, when the choice is between the crumbs you can find, and the starvation of your soul, pick the crumbs every time. If you share those crumbs, by magic everyone has a bit more than if you try to keep the for yourself.
When things are terrible, it can seem like the good things are trivial and pointless. This is not true. Love, joy, and comfort are more important than ever in challenging times. Frivolous things can also be sanity saving things. Don’t feel like you have to embrace misery to fight – it doesn’t work that way.
Those of us who are better resourced right now can step up and try to make sure that there are more than crumbs on offer.
