When to Heed the Call
There’s a theory that people are called to their destiny. There’s also the ideology that people should do what makes them happy. Then, there’s a third philosophy that combines the two: God has a plan for us, and He wants us to be happy. However, what happens when those don’t align? What happens when what we want isn’t what we get? And are we truly called to do things that we don’t want to do? If so, are we bound to be unhappy doing the things that we dislike?
This topic came about on the heels of a conversation regarding lost or unfulfilled dreams. I wrote a post titled When to Abadon Dreams. During that conversation, a friend proposed an interesting question. What happens when opposites are at play? He began with an interesting scenario.
Young siblings have a dispute. One sibling hits the other in the shoulder. The hit sibling begins to cry, and the parents scowls the hitter with the demand that he/she apologize to his/her sibling. The hitter apologizes, and the punching bag stops crying, satisfied at having received the apology. However, the instant the parent turns around, the hitter licks his/her tongue out at the sibling. His hurt sibling begins crying again. The parent turns around, is told what has happened, and again scowls the hitters. The hitter is told to apologize the second time.
The parent’s reaction is understandable. He/she is attempting to teach his/her children appropriate behavior. But what does it really mean? It teaches lying. In this example, the apology is demanded and not freely given. By the hitter’s response of later licking out his/her tongue, it can be determined that he/isn’t sorry for socking his/her sibling. The apology was a means to an end to appease the parent. It was never genuine. And if it wasn’t genuine, was it even worth being given?
When people are “called” to do something that they don’t want to do, should they answer the call? I once sat on a committee where I saw a need to have the written policy updated. I didn’t want to be the one to do it, but I knew it needed to be done and no one else was stepping up to the plate. No, that’s not true. The one person who would have stepped up, couldn’t at the time because she was overloaded with so many other things that the committee needed to do. She needed the help. I wanted to help her, but I didn’t want to do the task. I stepped up anyway, and initially, I thought I would be okay with doing it. However, the more I worked on it and the time it took, the more miserable I became. I wasn’t happy. Even when I finally completed it, I wasn’t happy because it didn’t feel that I had done my best work. The outcome wasn’t what I had envisioned. Additionally, I didn’t feel that the work I had done was appreciated by other committee members. I had to take a step away and caution myself against pride. I hadn’t done it for praise—or, at least, I shouldn’t have. I did it because it needed doing.
People work jobs that they loathe. They do so because they need the salary to support themselves. Or maybe they do it because they are expected to do it (as in taking over a family business). Still again, maybe they work it because they have been there so long, they don’t know any other job. The reason they remain is irrelevant to this point. The point being made is that the person is in a position that they detest and makes them unhappy. Yet, if they feel compelled or bound to perform the job, how do they balance happiness? Do they become content with their unhappiness?
Content and happiness aren’t necessarily the same thing. Content means a person has become accepting of a situation and has no other expectations. A person who is content may be at peace but not happy. For example, a person whose spouse has passed away may become accustomed to living alone but not overjoyed by it. That person may not feel compelled to remarry or seek a roommate. That may seem like too much of a hassle. Yet, that person may feel alone in the home.
So, how does all of this related to lifelong dreams?
A person may have a lifelong dream or goal, but it may be unobtainable. Some would argue to never give up on a dream. That’s not always possible. Say that a woman wants to participate in the Miss America pageant. One of the parent rules is that the participant cannot be older than 27. If the person wanting to participate is 30, this is no longer a viable dream unless the rules change. The person isn’t in control of the rules and cannot reverse time; therefore, this dream cannot be achieved. Yes, the person could find another pageant to participate in. However, that’s not the person’s dream. If a person wants to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, that is a very specific goal. Being a cheerleader for the New Orleans Saints or L.A. Lakers doesn’t achieve this goal. Now, if the person’s dream was to be a professional cheerleader (nonspecific), it wouldn’t matter for which team (New Orleans Saints, New York Giants) or what type (Boston Celtics, L.A. Lakers) of team. The point is that some dreams/goals are time sensitive. They have to be altered, replaced, or abandoned.
Another friend expressed that in college, he decided on his major due to feeling a strong pull toward the field. Although he excelled at his job in the field, it wasn’t something he enjoyed. Persons close to him frequently informed him that he was a “natural,” and it became expected of him to do the job. Because he was so good at it, he felt compelled to continue; yet, with each passing year, he felt more and more disgruntled and miserable. His dream was to make big changes in his line of work. He realized that the likelihood of that happening was slim to none. Thus, his dilemma was whether he should continue or quit.
“People have told me God has bigger plans for me, and that I have to be patient and live through this season. But I don’t like this season, I’m not very patient, and I don’t want to be angry. I want what I want, and I don’t understand why I’m denied. I try, but my effort isn’t enough. Just because I accept that things haven’t worked out, must I smile about it and pretend I’m unbothered? Sometimes, I’m called to go use the toilet in the middle of the night. I don’t want to get out of my warm bed to go, but I do because it’s uncomfortable not to. Physically, I feel better after relieving my bladder, but when I can’ go back to sleep, I spend the next day feeling tired and grumpy. It’s the same with other aspects of life. I do what I have to do but not always because I want to or like it.”
Does this mean a person who has calling should reject it if the calling makes him/her unhappy or dissatisfied? Will all callings fulfill a need? Just ideas to ponder.
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Hold onto your bootstraps!
Demon Rodeo is available now on Amazon. For video book trailers, visit my TikTok page. The full blurb is on my Instagram and Amazon.
Demon Rodeo is the first book in the Chasing the Buckle series but can be read as a standalone. It’s a friends-to-lovers romance set in the rodeo world. These are not your typical cowboys. It’s a widely diverse cast of characters and a mashup of genres that aren’t always seen together. If you’re looking for a palate cleanser, this may be a book for you.
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Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.
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Out of the Penalty Box (book #1) One minute in the box or a lifetime out. Defending the Net (book #2) Crossing the line could cost the game. Ice Gladiators (book #3) When the gloves come off, the games begin. Penalty Kill (book #4) Let the pucker begin. Future Goals (book #5) The future lies between a puck and a net.About the Author:
Hi, I’m Genevive, and I am a contemporary sports romance author. My home is in South Louisiana. If you like snark and giggles with a touch of steamy Cajun and Creole on the side, I may have your poison in my stash of books. Drop by the bayou and have a look around. The pirogues are always waiting for new visitors.
