On Sheep and Shepherds: A Parent’s View of the Updated Trans Policies
When my son was four, he saw a picture of Jesus Christ as a shepherd with sheep. He pointed and proclaimed, “Jesus saves us…from the sheep!”
Out of the mouth of babes, right?
Allow me a brief moment of motherly sentimentality as I describe this kid1. He’s 11 now. His nightstand prominently displays a picture of Jesus Christ in the nativity. I didn’t give it to him or place it there. He decided that picture was important to him.
Once when I was cleaning out some old boxes, I set aside a gold foil picture of Jesus Christ from my YW days. It seemed like it was time to let that one go. Instead, my son fished it out of the donate pile and set it up on his bedroom shelf.
Last year, when the primary kids were asked to be in a nativity for Christmas, they also asked the kids to share their favorite nativity character and explain why for the program. My son chose Mary because she can do hard things.
This kid was genuinely disappointed that we didn’t go to church on a fourth Sunday linger longer day. He really wanted to linger longer.
Seems like a pretty upstanding, spiritual kind of kid right?
My son, who uses he/him pronouns, also wears a dress to church, maintains long hair, and rocks his favorite pair of heeled ankle boots. Since he was three, when he said he wanted to be a girl, he has gravitated toward gender nonconformity.
In that primary nativity scene at the ward Christmas party, he portrayed Mary in the manger scene. While there was some worry this would ruffle a few feathers, our then bishop kindly and carefully coordinated with us to ensure all was well. If someone wasn’t happy about it, I’m grateful they kept it to themselves.
As my son’s parent, I’m just a passenger on his journey of gender expression and identity. While his pronouns and his wardrobe are always his choice, as we move through The Puberty, I don’t know how he will evolve. I do know that I love this kid and support him, full stop.
While we attend church (in a messy middle kind of way), this exceptionally lovely child isn’t baptized, by our choice as his parents. He’s a perpetual visitor in our ward. I and some other ward members wear pride pins on Sunday. At the local member level, our small ward supports and loves us. He’s never…yet…been made to feel unwelcome.
I look ahead and wonder when that streak will come to an end. All it will take is one overzealous, overstepping bishopric or stake presidency, one bad round of leadership roulette, to wreak havoc on our safe little bubble, emboldened by the harm the handbook advocates.
At school, his teachers love him fiercely. His friends nominate him for awards and his classmates cheer him on. When there are instances of bullying (and there definitely have been instances), he has had a strong network of adults in place who have protected him and supported him.
At church…I guess this innocent child could need an escort to the bathrooms? Could never be allowed to attend an overnight activity? Could remain a perpetual visitor because baptism would subject him to potentially abusive and harmful practices?
It’s mind boggling to think that Jesus Christ wants any of this.
To know my son is to love him. To know him is to know he is a beloved child of God who arrived on this earth exactly as he is. To know him is to know that our church leaders have shamefully set him to the side.
There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus loves my son. Jesus has saved him too. I can only hope that Jesus also saves us from the sheep.
Photo Credit: RosaryTeam, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
My son and I read this blog post together. My sharing some of his experiences has a seal of approval, but he does want me to share the comments with him. We agreed that I wouldn’t share harmful messages, just “positive comments and suggestions” in his words.
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