The problem with school holidays

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The problem with school holidays

Firstly, I accidentally broke my daily streak! When I realised this morning, I felt upset. But how can I be? I worked hard and showed up to write something everyday for 41 days in a row. That’s amazing. To get to 30 is great, to get to 40 is fantastic. I also couldn’t manage the park run yesterday. The early morning with my mom and then the not sleeping in general; the pain from my workouts, it was too much. But again, that’s okay. I’ve still started this habit. Still have 4 park runs in a row that I completed. I need to take the wins, not focus on the details and only see losses.

Secondly, I am grateful for the summer break. This post may sound like I’m not, but I am! Every holiday we get as support staff in a school is amazing. It helps with work life balance. It means that no matter how hard I’m finding things, there will always be a 1-2 week break to ease the stress every 6-7 weeks on average. That’s important. I’m so grateful for that and what it brings to my life.

However, let’s get to this post. The problem is that no one talks about how hard it is for some of us to go back to work/ school after the break. People who don’t love their job, neurodivergent people, and people with anxiety are just a few who will struggle with the transition.

Obviously, as someone who works in the SEND department, I know all about the effect of routine and change on children with autism especially, but they aren’t the only individuals who struggle with this. The holiday presents you with this freedom. This taste of how things could be if you didn’t have to work everyday. And then, it’s suddenly taken away. September is a difficult month. The first term back is a battle. You’re all getting back to routine, used to a new timetable, testing the students for new year data, and adjusting to the change of perhaps slow calm days to the loud fast-paced environment of the school.

It’s a lot.

I’m nervous about going back tomorrow. I know there will be a churning in my belly, a beat in my chest on Monday morning. I will likely feel overwhelmed by all there “how was your summer?” questions, feeling the need to dredge up what I’ve done and how it felt. For most people, I’ll just lie or sugarcoat, like we do as a society “ah yeah it was good thank you, and yours?” rather than getting into the details. But I won’t lie to those who I do know well. I’ll tell them I burned out. I’ll tell them I enjoyed it at times, but also resent the fact that I stressed myself out in the summer instead of resting as a priority.

Lesson learned.

Anyway, I wouldn’t give up the holidays. I still love and need them, I’m just saying if you’re jealous of those who work in schools with so much time off, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows for us. Especially teachers, they work a lot during the breaks. But even for me, support staff, it’s hard to adjust back. You have time off so it’s like, “yes, time to get things done for myself and my goals” but then your body is crying out for your break to be just that, a break. A lot of the time during half term breaks, I actually get ill. It’s my body’s adrenaline and energy finally relaxing and then once the defences are down, the sickness strikes. And then you don’t enjoy the time off, because you’re not well!

Not to mention, come to think of it, that during the holidays you aren’t exposed to as many illnesses but then going back to school, you suddenly pass by hundreds of people in one day and now your body is overloaded. The sicknesses you get from schools is horrendous!

Being an introvert, I get drained easily from the environment of a school and refilled by the breaks. September-October being the longest term is difficult for someone like me who needs her space.

Lastly, I want to circle back to gratitude. I don’t want to end on a negative. It’s a fact, adjusting to going back will be hard tomorrow, but I do have a bit of a plan to ease the stress. So, let’s end with what I’m grateful for:

The time I’ve been afforded to explore myself and my artMy mom’s plane landing safely and she’s okayMy husband helping me out Fresh starts Weekends Energetic, loving dogs Good food Games, books and tv shows to relax Gentle yoga for when you’re injured but want to move Fresh morning airOpportunities for writers becoming more prevalent, helping our work to be seen Diverse entertainment reminding me that there are no rules in creative storytelling Good memories shared New flowers to start the week Immigration and diverse communities (as their culture, beliefs and cuisines are crucial to our success and I’ve appreciated having a dash of Japan here in the UK, when my sister found a Japanese grocery and got lots of things for me! It made my weekend