All or nothing thinking
Everything has worked out. It usually does. The world doesn’t end because we stop trying to control everything. Have I ticked everything off my long summer to do list? No! Lots of things shouldn’t have been on there anyway. But I started a lot of things, finished some others, and have progressed. That’s all the counts.
The problem only comes when we think “but I didn’t finish everything” or “it wasn’t how I wanted it to be”. This is expectation. This is pressure. This is unnecessary. It clouds us from seeing all that we have achieved.
Today I was going to try to run the 10km I had put on my summer to do list. I woke up in pain from my yoga and got some sad news, so naturally, I wasn’t feeling up to it. Did I just let myself off the hook? Nope. Instead I put myself into decision fatigue and paralysis going through all the reasons I should and shouldn’t go. They were all valid reasons, might I add! It was ridiculous. It wasn’t a big deal. No one cares if I didn’t go and didn’t tick it off my arbitrary summer bucket list.
I can go another day! Gasp! No way!
In the end, thankfully, I did the right thing for me: I went on a short run. I knew the run would be good for my mind, but a long one wouldn’t be good for my body. So this was a healthy, simple compromise.
Why did it have to take so long for me to get there, though?
It’s this all or nothing thinking. If you can’t do the thing to the standard you originally wanted, might as well not do it at all. Got to be all in or all out. Nope, that’s ridiculous. It sets us up to fail, time and time again.
Life needs to be lived in the middle ground. In the plenty of lovely space between all and nothing. Between this or that. There are a plethora of other options to the things we want or need to do, but we limit ourselves to just two.
We need to get creative with our thinking. Instead of thinking our options are limited, we can find creative solutions by thinking outside the box or taking a new approach. Create more options for yourself.
It’s not this or that. It’s this, that, or maybe this other thing, or how about that, oh this could work, or what if I changed that, I could even do that, and on and on!
Please don’t be like me and create stress for yourself by keeping your options restricted. Open your mind and your world becomes a lot bigger, with more to choose from. This is how we become successful. This is how we stay consistent with our goals and our habits. By adapting, finding creative alternatives, and opening our minds to more available routes to take.
It’s not all or nothing. There’s plenty in between. Just open your eyes and find it.
Sincerely,
S. xx
