Unpopular Opinions: Why and How Christian Men Submit to Their Wives

“Submit” has become a very contentious word in marriage ministry circles. I think it’s a beautiful word. It reflects the spirit of Christ and is rooted in the virtue of humility that Scripture praises above every other virtue. So let’s apply it to husbands and see where it takes us. 

Pride is one of the greatest enemies of marriage. When we discuss gender roles from the perspective of power instead of pride we undercut the scandal of the Gospel: that each one of us should view ourselves as servants, even as Christ condescended on our behalf: “Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself” (Philippians 2: 6-8).

Paul is adamant: “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (v. 5). This is a powerful, cutting word for both men and women. We should have the same attitude as Jesus. Whatever role we have is a platform to serve.

When we don’t hate pride as much as God does, we’ll naturally hate His teachings in Scripture. We unwittingly defend pride when we chafe against admonitions to humble ourselves. Three times Scripture says God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (Proverbs 3:34; James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5). If I use Scripture to exalt myself in any way, God himself is opposing me at that very juncture. So I must let Scripture sear my naturally proud heart.

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