Guest Post: Drawing the Line on Gender Assignment

by Anonymous

This past week, we have all seen Olympic outrage on social media even if we have not been watching the Olympics. We have learned about Imane Khelif, Swyer Syndrome, and discussed everything going on in between her chromosomes, her divinely muscular frame, and in between her legs. Many questions about the Olympic guidelines, what it is to be female, and what it is to be male, are being splashed across social media, as if defining gender is more important than … ya know. The Olympics. And other things. As if it were our business.

Many of my friends have shared articles on social media reflecting their position judging Imane Khelif’s gender. A friend of mine, who will remain as anonymous as me, but who I will call “L,” posted an article that labelled Ms. Khelif as transgender. L stated that she believed that Ms. Khelif should have a separate boxing category entirely for “Transgender people like that.” This rubbed me the wrong way. So I commented “I think this article is a poor representation of the situation, and is deeply problematic. The boxer in question has Swyer Syndrome.”

I wanted to walk away. I really did. But this friend is a good friend. A fellow Latter-day Saint. Even if we don’t agree on everything, because who agrees with anyone else perfectly? She and I supported each other through IVF, and other mountainous things that were personal and important. So I sent her a message and we corresponded, which I will paste here (personal identifiers have been removed):

Me: L, I don’t know how you missed this, but my infertility diagnosis classifies me as intersex. Because of so much hatred towards those who are trans, women like me (intersex) around the world are denied medical support, along with those who are trans. Some of us are told by our families that we “should be rounded up and shot.” I have told you this before. But remember, the fall of Adam made us this way. When I had my patriarchal blessing, God told me that I was correctly female, just like I felt I was. And yet, in conservative society, I have to hide. Do not add to the hate. Not just for this boxer, both for others. Please.

L: Thank you for your concerned and discreet message. I’m a little alarmed, because I haven’t looked at FB today, and hope the post hasn’t gone in an unintended direction! I have a niece/nephew, I love dearly, who change gender surgically in the past few years, I was very careful of how I phrased that post so as to keep the ridiculous hatred out of it. The last thing I would want to do is add to the hatred. I thought that post was very supportive in a very real and difficult situation. Men are built physically different than woman, that doesn’t just change enough, even after reassignment surgery. I feel the controversy muddies up some important issues that need to be looked at in a genuine, respectful and fair way.

I absolutely do not believe a person changed from a man to a woman should be competing in that sport against women, especially, when it has always recognised physical differences with categories…which, is why I suggested, certainly, we could come up with a better solution. There was certainly no hate promotion intended. I changed it to transgender.

Me: Oh, dear! But the athlete is not transgender. She has Swyer syndrome. She is female. She was never male. Heck, she’s more female than me! With the blessings of imperfection, she, like me, was born with a condition that deems her, like me, not 100% traditional female. I was born with other characteristics of a different syndrome), deeming me intersex, like her. But our Heavenly Parents see us as daughters. Of this I am sure! I do believe that it is trans-phobia and “othering” hatred for keeping all of us in the closet. I mean, think of women with PCOS- which have increased testosterone levels. Are PCOS mothers—male? (1) Of course not! As I told you before, I had LDS family members who told me I should be “rounded up and shot” for being on the intersex spectrum. If anything, we should greatly admire this athlete for being brave enough to be public about having Swyer Syndrome. I am certainly not brave enough to be public about being intersex!

L: I did not know that. I’ve tried to do more research, before I post things. But obviously, I didn’t this time. I’d like to sort that out, taking it down for now. Thank you so much.

(later)

L: You’re right, the article should have made that clear. I still wonder if they could adjust her category, somehow, as the other athlete said she had never been punched that hard, and obviously was in fear.

Me: I understand, but what category would we be in? Boxing I believe is based on the boxers’ weight. So what would this new category look like? A non-weight category for those who aren’t perfectly female (like me)? But then where does it end? People are violently pushing back on non-gendered bathrooms. And what about the temple? Should the entire temple ceremony be re-written for those who are not perfectly one gender or another? Where would be sit in the temple? The outcasts back row? And where would the line be drawn—would it include those who have had hysterectomies, or had their prostate removed for cancer? Who gets to draw the line of what my gender is? I would like to think that would be left to me.

***

I have yet to hear again from this friend, which is okay. We are busy women and will touch base again on some other topic, likely never discussing this again. I understand this: we don’t want to fight, because we are friends. We have sat side by side in the temple together before and will again. The thing is, though she will likely dismiss this, and even forget about it, I won’t. As soon as gender lines are drawn, because I am imperfect, I FEAR where those lines will be drawn, and who gets to draw these lines?

The Olympic committee has drawn that line for Ms. Khelif, defining her as she defines herself, as a woman. Last year, the International Boxing Association drew the line that said she is not enough of a woman. But the thing is, the lines do not end there. Should we draw lines in the temple? Should my baptism and church membership be rescinded because I am not perfectly female? And with that—who gets to choose my gender?

As it is, there is outrage in the intersex community against gender “correcting” surgery for children, which is decided by parents and the medical community. This surgery is often performed when the child is less than a year old, so the person having the surgery obviously cannot be given consent. Yet when a teen is sure of that their body does not match their spirit, and even with their parents offer support, trans surgery can be denied by hospital boards, governments and more. (2) Because someone, somewhere has drawn a line about gender. I am confident that these “gender line-drawer,” no matter how well-meaning, are never among the 1.7% intersex or the 0.05% trans populations.

One day, the world will stop drawing lines on gender. Until that day, I pray. I pray for Ms. Kheif. I believe her and her family when they all state she is a woman. I believe that she did not randomly “choose” her gender, and that her spirit and her soul are female. I believe she is a saint for facing such global social hatred on a mass scale. And with that, I am worried about her mental health. I have her in my prayers, because I know what it is like to feel the crushing stones being cast by those who deem themselves perfect judges of gender.

Notes:
1. PCOS and testosterone: https://studentaffairs.psu.edu/health....
2. Gender corrective surgery on infants: https://abcnews.go.com/Health/interse....
3. Percentage of Global Intersex: https://ihra.org.au/16601/intersex-nu...
4. Percentage of Global trans: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.ed...

Artwork/Image:
Giovanni Francesco Susini, Hermaphrodite, 1639, Metropolitan Museum of Art (Open access) https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collect..., Overall Figure confirmed: 4 5/8 × 17 × 7 1/4 in., Sculpture-Bronze

 

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