A Non-Political Analysis of J. D. Vance

There will be time for policy discussions later. But for now, let’s deal with more important things to consider about Senator Vance.

He actually looks old for 39, don’t you think?He has a beard. This cannot be understated. The last bearded veep was Charles Curtis who served under Herbert Hoover. Thomas Dewey had a mustache, but of course he famously lost to FDR and Truman. The beard is a big deal, and will probably earn about five billion votes all by itself. Someone said he looked like me. I think that might be the beard talking, but I can see a little similarities. Keeping that thread going — J. D. are my initials, too, except my name is Jamie Dwayne, which is not as presidential as James David. I wonder if he ever becomes POTUS if he will be known as JDV in the way LBJ and FDR are known by their initials, because JDV is a pretty cool set of letters — not as cool as JDG, but you understand.I didn’t read the book, but that movie Hillbilly Elegy is powerful. He is from Ohio, which is probably a strike against him, and apparently graduated from The Ohio State University, which apparently has to have The in front of it because someone might confuse it with Oklahoma State University or something. Vance is 39 years old. I feel bad for the guy because he will turn forty next week (August 2) and turning forty is usually one of those ominous milestones as we age and hit middle-ageish and Vance has to do it while campaigning. Brutal. Now, about this age: he is a millennial. Which means Gen X was skipped over again. Why does Donald Trump and the Republicans hate Gen X so much?

Links to blog posts about beards: Beards are Awesome, BEARD TREK, THE ENJOYABLE TASK OF DESCRIBING BEARDS AND THE MEN WHO WEAR THEM, Riker beard and PAUL RYAN’S BEARD.