Too Little

There are so many people stepping up and saying “you are not too much”. And it’s such a blessing to live in this time of widespread authentic blooming.

But there hasn’t been much talk about being “too little”.

Too quiet.

Too still.

Too simple.

Too boring.

Too few definable goals.

Too few material things.

Too few observable activities.

For years I suffered under the weight of thinking that there was something wrong with me.

Because I didn’t “take up enough space”.

Because I didn’t “make myself heard”.

Because I didn’t “own the room”.

I thought I was anxious when really I was overwhelmed.

I doubted my soul’s call to step away from the constant stimulation because I’d been taught to believe I was wrong in not wanting it.

Confusion turned to anxiety. Anxiety turned to frustration.

And now all these years later, I have to reverse the clock and undo the very anxiety that developed from believing it was the cause.

Believing it was fear created the fear.

All because I thought I was too little.

And I know I am not alone. Many of us have been called too little in some way.

Called too little, but not actually little at all.

What we really are is too deep for people who only doggy paddle. Too much sun for those accustomed to flourescents. Too sensitive to need all the frills.

Too full of energy to need so much external replenishment.

Too alive to feel the constant need to prove it.

The truth is that they see us doing nothing. Saying nothing. Going nowhere. They see nothing.

But what we see is everything.

We feel heartbeats in the earth beneath our feet. We hear the deep timbre of wise old voices from the trees, and sprightly giggles from little blooming vines.

We feel all of the things that people aren’t saying.

We sense all of the feelings beneath the single one being expressed.

And when we speak, we’re saying far more than mere words can handle.

A single word. Or sway of our hips. A single gesture or look. It contains and conveys worlds of information.

But not everyone will be capable of seeing the many colors expressed in one. Not everyone can hear the entire song contained in a single note.

We too are full of activity. Doing nothing yet being everything. Dancing while sitting still. Speaking with words that only hearts and trees can hear. Listening to the messages written in their eyes or the shape of the light filtering through their leaves.

They may see nothing. And in a way they’re right. Which is what we know but can’t say, because in that nothing we find everything.

So no, you are not too little.

You’re not too quiet.

Or too still.

And you certainly aren’t too boring.

You’re not too anything when you’re being and loving your true self.

©️ 2024 Cristen Writes