After being triggered

(Nimue)

When it happens, it can be hard to spot that triggering has occurred. Whatever brought it on brings the past into the present, and it can be difficult to tell what was before, and what is now. That can be disorientating, but I often find the confusion it causes is a clue I can identify that helps me get a grip on things.

While triggering is happening, it can be very hard to think clearly or act usefully. However, there’s always a process of surfacing from it, and that is a very productive time if you dare to work with it. Being triggered is emotionally overwhelming and difficult to deal with, so the mop up work is unpleasant, but it does get a lot done.

I find it helps to identify exactly what set me off and why. That’s never comfortable work. However, once I have that information I can look at the experience more effectively. I may have been triggered because I encountered something far too close to previous experiences. On reflection I might decide that’s not a situation I accept, so I will back away from it. I might find there are parallels with the past, but that it isn’t the same.

If I’ve found parallels, but no genuine threat, I can work on changing my relationship with the situation. I can ask for help, flagging up what triggered me and what would protect me from that if something similar happened in the future. I can talk about what would help me deal with those issues, or think about how to move on from them.

I have found that I can improve my control over my thoughts, and recognise what’s historical stuff flaring up and what’s a current problem. I can reduce the impact of triggers, I have dialled some down entirely. It’s a lot easier for having dependable help and support.

It’s not possible to do this work where the triggers are themselves traumatic or damaging things. The process is hard of itself. Healing can be messy and painful, and doing this means facing old wounds and distress. But that is the path out, and it is possible to work free from the impact of historical trauma. What exactly you need to do will be informed by what’s in the past, and what’s happening now. You, as the person experiencing that, are the person most qualified to figure out what would help, and what you can change for yourself. It’s empowering to take control of the situation in this way. Trust yourself that even when you feel out of control, in there somewhere you know what you need to do to heal.

I remain very much a work in progress, but there is progress all the time. I’m learning how to trust myself, and how to trust that I know what I need. I know what helps me and what hurts me, and where that’s respected, life is a good deal easier.