In Memory of Mandisa

This is a post I originally published on August 30, 2011, long before I had the joy of meeting Mandisa in a Bible study we both attended in a friend’s home here in Nashville a handful of years ago. As everyone says, she was—and still is—the real deal.

I’m heartbroken over her passing, but her openness and transparency encouraged me then, and still does today. I originally entitled this August 2011 post, The Night Mandisa Nearly Got Me Killed, and she and I laughed about it years later once we met, and I shared the experience with her.

The Night Mandisa Nearly Got Me Killed

It’s dark. I’m tooling along the path. Got a later start on my evening walk than I’d planned, and I’m totally zoned into my iPod music when I look up and, from out of nowhere, this HUGE boxer is charging straight for me. Six feet away at best. I have no idea how loud I screamed because my earbuds were in and all I could hear was Mandisa belting out “What if we were real…”

But what I was thinking at that moment was, “Real nothin’, I’m about to die!” Look at this ferocious creature! Just look at him!

Well okay, that’s not the exact dog. Mine was much meaner looking. And bigger. Much, much bigger. And his jowls were flapping and he was barking and, well, it was scary. Thankfully, the lit end of a cigarette followed close behind him (attached to the dog’s owner). “Oh he’s really friendly,” the guy said. 

Uh-huh… He looked really friendly as he was going for my jugular. But…that’s the night last week that Mandisa nearly got me killed.

God’s been introducing––and reintroducing––a theme in my life over the past few months, one that I didn’t notice at first. Not even when writing A Lasting Impression. The theme of that book wasn’t truly clear to me until after the first draft. Then God revealed it. Authenticity. And living beyond myself. And He’s had my attention ever since.

One of the songs I was listening to on repeat that night as I walked our neighborhood after dark was The Truth About Me from Mandisa’s album entitled What if We Were Real. Here are some of the lyrics…

You say lovely, I say broken
I say guilty, you say forgiven
I feel lonely, you say you’re with me
We both know it would change everything
If only I believed the truth about me.
I would sleep better at night, wake up with hope for another day
I would love…even if it costs me
Take a chance and know I’m gonna be okay
I would dare to give my life away…

Then as I read in my quiet time a couple of days later, God “whisper shouted” these words into my heart as I read Paul,

“For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”

Oh to be able to say that. “I am already being poured out…” To live with that kind of conviction. That kind of surrender. And it makes me question, Where am I being poured out like that in my own life? What parts of my life—and heart—are still corked tight and hidden away, kept for myself on the shelf?

Authenticity. Living beyond myself. Themes God keeps whisper shouting to my heart, and I’m listening. I’ve got such a long way to go, but He’s shaping me, slowly but surely.

Where are you being poured out today? And into whose life or lives? Do you ever hear or sense a “whisper shout” too? If yes, please share, and we’ll encourage each other in this journey.

Oh, and one final warning: DO NOT google “image of adult white boxer.” Suffice it to say, I should have included the word dog in my search when looking for a picture of a boxer for this blog. Oy!

[End of blog from August 30, 2011]

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for this dynamic, joy-filled, gospel-gorgeous sister in Christ who we all first fell in love with even without meeting her. During this time of grief and loss, please comfort her family and friends and everyone who loved her, Father. Holy Spirit, pour fresh hope into hearts as only you can. And give us the courage and strength to live authentic lives and lives beyond ourselves for your glory, Jesus, only and always.

Did Mandisa’s music, life, and faith encourage you in your journey? Were you one of millions who first “met and fell in love with her” on her original audition on American Idol?

Both of those get hearty “Yeses” from me.

Blessings on your Tuesday, friends,
Tammy